Farty's Fortunes

Thursday, 5 July 2007

Merkan-English Dictionary #6


The time has come, I fear, to address Bossy's issues with shoes.

First off, Car Boots are not footwear for driving. Go back and read Part 5 properly. Honestly, the fuckwittage I have to put up with!

On the subject of boots, the Wellington Boot is a knee-length rubber boot designed for kids to splash in puddles with. Hence the expression "Giving It Welly".
Not A Boot.
Wellies are inedible, unlike Beef Wellington.

This seems like a perfect opporchancity to mention La Cubana Gringa. I've heard about Cuban Heels, but it wasn't until I read her blog that I realised what the term refers to.

A Heel. From Cuba.
You live and learn.

When I was at Primary School (first to seventh grade), we wore gumshoes to gym. The Merkan equivalent appears to be "sneakers".
A Gumshoe. Apparently.
Although why a wheelchair-bound detective should need sports footwear is beyond me.

The Stiletto, as any fule kno, is an Italian short sword.
Stiletto
But anyone can make a mistake. Especially with pictures like this to confuse you.

The Thong isn't English or Merkan, it's Australian. But being a sandal, it does count as a shoe.


And it gives me an excuse to show you - This! Not pervy.

Ner ner ne-ner ner.

9 comments:

lady macleod said...

you are a brilliant and weird man. i love the way your mind works.

john.g. said...

How dare you put me on your blog without prior consent. The copyright charges will be in the post.
yours Ironside!

Brom said...

Shouldn't they be floating upside down?

rilly super said...

Mr Farty, are you in fact Stephen Fry? If so, can you get me Alan Davis's autograph when you next shoot QI...

Cat said...

I don't class flip-flops as sandals. I think they're in a genre of their own.

Mr Farty said...

Lady M - Coming from someone who describes the search for the Higgs boson as casually as if it were an afternoon's shopping, I can only profess gobsmackedness.

Ironside - Whoops! Busted...

Brom - Enough already. I hate it when the comments get funnier than the post.

Rilly - My dear lady, I may be Quite Interesting, but Mr Fry is Qualatatively Intruiging. And that Alan Davis bloke makes me snort coffee out my nose.

Cat - Meh. You put them on your feet and walk in them. On sand.

Genre is a good word.

Ok, I'm rambling now. Bye.

BOSSY said...

C'mon - everyone knows that Thongs sit betwixt the arse crack.

Sewmouse said...

Since you are doing this lovely service, can you please define the word "Ming", as used in the sentance "Sewmouse has decided to ming up her blog..."?

Mr Farty said...

Bossy - Ew! I can't believe that!

Sew - Hahahaha! I'll have to get back to you on that.

Hahahaha!