Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 19 May 2008

Mr Farty's World-Famous Banoffee Pie Recipe - Illustrated

Banoffee Pie

I get more hits on this blog for my Banoffee Pie recipe than anything else, so it's only fair that I should update it with step-by-step photos and that.

This is absolutely the bestest thing to eat in the world.

Your taste buds will love you forever.

Your arteries...well, you only live once.


1 tin sweetened condensed milk. Not pre-cooked caramel, it's too runny.
12-15 digestive biscuits, McVities if you can get them.
3 oz. butter. Not margarine, not "I can't believe...", not "Spreadable", but BUTTER.
½ tsp freshly ground ginger (optional).
1 pint (600ml) whipping cream aka double cream. Not that low-fat crap either.
3 large green bananas. More if they're smaller.
1-2 Cadbury's Flakes.
1 fresh (cough) lemon.
1 large dash of Amarula (optional).

Crush the biscuits into a large bowl, not forgetting to add the ginger. Like I did.
Crush biscuits

Nuke the butter for 10 seconds on full power.

Make a well in the crushed biscuits and pour in the melted butter
Add melted butter

and a measure of Amarula
One measure of Amarula

and mix thoroughly.

Spread over the base of a flan dish, tamp down flat
Tamp down and pop into the freezer.

In ur freezer, chillin'

Another measure of Amarula

Set the TARDIS controls for yesterday. Put the unopened tin/s in a deep pan and cover with water. 1
Simmering water

Bring to the boil, turn down the heat and simmer for 4 hours, topping up regularly. Return to the present day.


Only when it has cooled enough to pick up barehanded, open the tin of what-has-now-magically-become-toffee and spread over the biscuit base before returning it to the freezer.

Toffee spreaded

Slice the bananas into a bowl with some freshly squeezed
Freshly squeezed *cough* lemon juice, then arrange over the baseSliced bananas in layers.Second layer
Put 6-7 slices in a separate bowl for decoration.

Rather than washing out the bowl, pour the excess lemon juice into a glass, then hand-whisk the creamHand whisk until it forms soft peaks. Gently fold in the remaining lemon juice to thicken the mixture.
Stiff peaks

Smother the bananas in cream.
Cream on bananas

Smooth over with a palette knife or back of a spoon.
Smoothed cream

Decorate with the remaining slices of banana and crumble the Flake/s over the top, being careful not to obscure the banana with the crumbled...Add chocolatemeh.

Et Violá!

Et Violá

Serves 8-12. Or two teenagers.


Preparation time about an hour plus four hours keeping half an eye on the cooking tins.
Wash your hands, a lot, unless you like sticky cameras.
Use the base of a glass tumbler to crush the Flake/s before unwrapping.
Use a glass flan dish, otherwise you might score it getting the slices out.
If you insist on opening the tin while it is still piping hot, don't come running to me when it sprays hot toffee in your face. You have been warned.
I like to cook 2-3 tins of toffee at once. Write "TOFFEE" on the tops of all cooked tins before returning them to the cupboard, so you don't cook them again.
If you prepare the base overnight, allow 30 mins after adding the topping to allow the base to thaw before serving.
Can be frozen, but I wouldn't.
I was going to calculate the calories but then I realised if you were worried about your weight, you wouldn't be here.
If you're wondering "banoffee pie is it ok to cook condensed milk overnight?" No. Just no.
The makers say you should never boil an unopened can as it might explode. Here is the correct way:
How to caramelize condensed milk.


phoenix said...

As a woman now obsessed by gaining weight after stress related loss i shall be happily partaking of this artery clogging dream dessert(Who said we Scots were unhealthy? there's fruit in it for gods sake) and thank you for your kind comments on DQ's blog:-)

Mr Farty said...

Phoenix - Why, thank you kindly. And welcome. Please come again.

Timbo said...

Should the condensed milk be toffee? Where's the toffee? I need fucking toffee! AGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Drama Queen said...

Just thought I would return the visit. Please put the kettle on and cut me a bit of that lovely looking pie. . .

Mr Farty said...

Timbo - You put condensed milk in, you cook it for a few hours, hey presto! Toffee!

DQ - Oh hello. Kettle's on. Tea or coffee?

Cat said...

Oh, this is my most favourite pudding. The one that Howies do is the best I've ever tasted, but I've yet to try and make my own.

Mr Farty said...

Cat - I've tried the stuff in shops and that. It's like ashes in my mouth. Whereas...

I made this once to take to a party, then I went down with the dreaded lurgi at the last minute (not contagious, thankfully). So BP went with friends. When friends came back, I asked: "How was the BP, and, um, where's the dish?"
"Well, it was like this. We delivered the BP and it went straight in the fridge [this was in East London, South Africa. In summer]. We had the main course, then I fetched BP from the fridge. I got as far as the kitchen door, when I found my way blocked by 7 stone of Afrikans hostess with flashing eyes. 'No way are those fuckers getting any of MFWFBP. Let them eat cake.'"
The dish came back a couple of days later, licked clean.

Giggle! said...

OH. My. Flippin. HECK!!!!!

That looks extremely orgasmic!!!

*Licks the screen* xx

Giggle! said...

I'm still here...

still dribbling over it...

#Debi said...

So, if you boil several cans of milk at once, it's OK to put the unopened ones back in the cupboard, and not in the fridge? How soon should one use the, er, unused cans before they turn?

Jacki said...

Okay, I am impressed. That is the best cooking tutorial I have seen yet. YUM....You've convinced me to try it out.

And you know what, we can actually get those McVities digestives at a local grocery store. However, there are many things I loved to eat in Scotland that we can't find over here.

#Debi said...

Also, 3-4 hours is a pretty broad span of time. Is there a way to know when the milk is done? (I'm far too "scientific" a cook. I generally follow the recipe fairly rigidly...)

Brom said...

Blimey - that's almost professional, well done!! 10/10 yum, now I'm hungry!!

I used to work in an evaporated milk factory, I have seen lots of overcooked tins - which were not intentional (unsweetened of course, as evap has no sugar)

BOSSY said...

Yum yum yum yum yum yumyumyumyum.

Dee said...

Geeez that looks good, not something I want to start obsessing about right now when I'm trying to lose weight! I really want to make that, I'm still in awe that you cook the milk in the can and out come (3hours later) toffee!

VE said...

Awesome. I'm glad you did step by step because after the first picture I was going to put a bunch of flowers in the recipe...

Motherhood for Dummies said...

wow..... that looks.... REALLY good :)

john.g. said...

Nice one Delia!

Mr Farty said...

Hello everyone from BOSSY'S blog! *waves*

Giggle! - *Licks the screen* has got to be the best endorsement ever!

#Debi - I have no fooking idea, I've never had a spare can sitting around for more than a few days.

Jacki - My stepdaughter in New Zealand (whose birthday is today, say Happy Birthday to SD folks) says she can't get Thorntons. So now we know what to send out.

#Debi again - Well, I suppose you could open the can and take a peek. No, wait. Little Miss Farty once opened a can straight from the pan. Luckily it was aimed away from her and we only needed to get new kitchen blinds.

4 hours.

The maker says you should never boil the unopened cans. I've been doing it for 20 years, but you never know. Here's the "correct" way.
How to caramelize condensed milk.

Brom - I bet that smelt...strange.

BOSSY - Do let me know how the party goes.

Drama Mama - Welcome. I just glanced at today's post on your blog. Bwahahahaha!

VE - But the flowers are essential. As is the Ben & Jerry's for those who *gasp* don't like banoffee pie.

Motherhood - Now I know what to do with the empty can!

John - *blushes*

Honey said...


Mr Farty said...

Honey - Is that banoffee pie you're holding in your new photo? Mmmmm!

liliblogs said...

Thanks for the (amusing) recipe! I fell in love with banoffee pie and pavlova while living in the UK. Nobody here in the states seems to know of them-- I'm making banoffee pie for my sister's birthday this week. (mmmmmmmmmm...)

Mr Farty said...

Seven of Nine - Thanks for stopping by. Hope your collective has fun assimilating it!

Laura said...

When you say butter -- does it matter if it is salted or unsalted? Also, for those of us in the States, how much = 1 "tub" of whipping cream? Thanks for the recipe -- can't wait to try it!

Mr Farty said...

Laura - I use "slightly salted" butter. Unsalted is fine, there's more salt than you think in those biscuits already. And there's a picture of the tub in the ingredients. I'll have to make another one to check the amount.

Erin said...

Looking forward to introducing my Midwestern USA friends to Banofee pie, one of my favorite dishes when I was abroad...thanks for the recipe.

I might be able to help with Laura's question....A pint from your local supermarket will probably do the trick...but that depends on how much whipped cream you like, more is not always a bad thing.

I'll let you know what people think when they taste it for the first time this holiday season.

Mr Farty said...

Erin - You're very welcome, I think it is about a pint. Banoffee Pie for Xmas dessert, that's a good idea!

Len David said...

I find this post really funny and helpful! I am doing this recipe this afternoon and I'm going to you because I chose yours as what I should follow :)

You're so cute! I am going to follow your blog! :)

Len David said...

I meant that I am going to LINK you! I shall follow your blog now! :)

85d111aa-4688-11e0-a19b-000bcdcb2996 said...

Omg im so all over this banoffe pie, love your style, cant wait to make it. Thank you! You have been bookmarked ;) x

Mr Farty said...

85d111aa... Can I just call you Manuel? Anyway, good luck!

Sa said...

Thank you for the delightfully funny instructions for making BP. I think I burned 15 calories laughing. I will follow them and introduce my fellow state-side ex-pats to this amazing dessert. One question, are you being PC when you write to "never, no, never" cook a sealed tin? I noticed you indicated how to in the recipe but then included a link to a rather PC way of cooking the condensed milk. I work for an English catering company and they definitely simmer the sealed tins for 3 hours so I lean towards that process. It is how it's properly done, right?

Mr Farty said...

Sa - Just covering my arse in case a can explodes and somebody tries to sue me. I've only ever used the "simmer the sealed tin" method, so FSM knows if the PC method even works.

iffatali said...
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Mr Farty said...
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