Merkan-English Dictionary #7

An ongoing attempt to educate them darned Merkans about proper English and that.

• Jello/Jelly - Jell-O^TM is a light and fruity gelatin dessert made from powdered gelatin. Jelly, by contrast, is a nitroglycerine-based explosive used in the mining industry. Anyone who gets these two items confused, fully deserves what happens to their kitchen.


• Brazilian - Despite what Dubya may think, a Brazilian is in fact a native of the South American country, Brazil. Or possibly some kind of wax, but I wouldn't know about that. Ew!


• Radge Wee Midden - When Christina Aguilera hosted the MTV Europe Music Video Awards in Embra in 2003, she confided to about a milliard viewers that a local lad had called her a "radge wee midden", and she chose to take this as a compliment. Bless her cotton knickers.
  "Radge" is more commonly used as a noun than an adjective, but essentially means an outrageous or crazy person.
  "Wee" is a Nintendo^TM games console Scotch word meaning small.
  A "midden" is, er, a place where one disposes of unwanted household refuse.
  So Christina told the world that she is a mental little heap of crap.


• Ming/Minger - Sewmouse tells me that she has decided to "ming up her blog". What an ancient Chinese dynasty has got to do with keeping an online diary beats the hell out of me...
  A minger, OTOH, is an unpleasant or unattractive person. Like Jade Goody or Shilpa Shetty. Take your pick.


• Facial - A deep-cleansing treatment of the face neck and shoulders, obviously. And not in any way related to unsavoury activities such as this one described by Tired Dad.


• Paris Hilton - On this side of the Pond, probly best described as an overpriced fabrication from that foreign country where nobody speaks English, a tacky imitation of Basildon Travelodge, associated with low-quality tv porn, entered by thousands of men, hangs out with Nicole Ritchie - Snap!