Farty's Fortunes

Sunday, 29 July 2007

Merkan-English Dictionary #7

An ongoing attempt to educate them darned Merkans about proper English and that.

  • Jello/Jelly - Jell-OTM is a light and fruity gelatin dessert made from powdered gelatin. Jelly, by contrast, is a nitroglycerine-based explosive used in the mining industry. Anyone who gets these two items confused, fully deserves what happens to their kitchen.

  • Brazilian - Despite what Dubya may think, a Brazilian is in fact a native of the South American country, Brazil. Or possibly some kind of wax, but I wouldn't know about that. Ew!

  • Radge Wee Midden - When Christina Aguilera hosted the MTV Europe Music Video Awards in Embra in 2003, she confided to about a milliard viewers that a local lad had called her a "radge wee midden", and she chose to take this as a compliment. Bless her cotton knickers.
    "Radge" is more commonly used as a noun than an adjective, but essentially means an outrageous or crazy person.
    "Wee" is a NintendoTM games console Scotch word meaning small.
    A "midden" is, er, a place where one disposes of unwanted household refuse.
    So Christina told the world that she is a mental little heap of crap.

  • Ming/Minger - Sewmouse tells me that she has decided to "ming up her blog". What an ancient Chinese dynasty has got to do with keeping an online diary beats the hell out of me...
    A minger, OTOH, is an unpleasant or unattractive person. Like Jade Goody or Shilpa Shetty. Take your pick.

  • Facial - A deep-cleansing treatment of the face neck and shoulders, obviously. And not in any way related to unsavoury activities such as this one described by Tired Dad.

  • Paris Hilton - On this side of the Pond, probly best described as an overpriced fabrication from that foreign country where nobody speaks English, a tacky imitation of Basildon Travelodge, associated with low-quality tv porn, entered by thousands of men, hangs out with Nicole Ritchie - Snap!

10 comments:

Misssy M said...

Personally, I'm proud to be a radge wee midden...

Mr Farty said...

Misssy - I was ROFLMFAO, as they say.

Drama Queen said...

I love using the word radge in Brussels and no one having a fecking clue what I mean. . .

Cat said...

I've not heard "radge" for ages, but one of my favourites is "jakey" as in "you jakey wee c*nt."

Jahooni said...

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY! Say it like it is.....

Mr Farty said...

DQ - Ya radge besom!

Cat - And I thought butter wouldn't melt...

Schemy(sp?) is another good one in Embra.

Jahooni - Let me know if we're losing you: Misssy, DQ and Cat are all, to some extent, Scotch like me. Ye ken.

Jahooni said...

I'm ken. love it.

Misssy M said...

As for schemey I once got a real telling off from someone when I described someone as schemey. She was raging, saying "I'm from a scheme, actually. How dare you!"

Schemey besom.

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