Farty's Fortunes

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

What A Difference A Day Makes

Favourite Niece came around for a visit. She'd been to see a medium1 and he'd told her, amongst other guff2, that her teenage son's friends considered her a bit of a milf - "whatever that is."

I looked her straight in the eye and told her: "You're a Mum I'd Like to - ", mouthing the last word silently as she is just a sweet, young, innocent, er, mother-of-three.

"Oh, Uncle Farty!" she blushed. "That's shocking!"

"But what's a milf?"

Jennifer Coolidge - MILF
A Milf Yesterday

1At least that's what it said in his underpants.
2I don't believe any of that hocus pocus, but then I'm an Aries and we're naturally sceptical.


Cat said...

I'm quite a fan of psychics as a girlie bonding activity, but I have yet to find one who told me anything that's come close to true. Best treated as an entertaining evening out to be chewed over with some wine afterwards, I think.

lady macleod said...

I have no idea where be milfs. I think you best be careful there love.

Manuel said...

Milfs are great aren't they? Lots of lovely/dirty bedroom activity when the husbands at work then they do the ironing for you. Brilliant!

PI said...

I googled it: it's a sort of rude 'yummy mummy'.

Diesel said...

That's hella funny.

Mr Farty said...

Cat - Wine with friends. Now there's a good idea.

Lady M - Noted.

Manuel - ¿Que?

Sorry, I could resist no more. You must get that all the time.

Pat - I googled Yummy Mummy: Yummy Mummy was one of a line of five monster-themed breakfast cereals produced by General Mills.

Riiiiiiiiight, that really helps.

Diesel - Coming from you, I'm genuinely flattered.

The Good Woman said...

So she's a blonde then....

Misssy M said...

Before American Pie (where I think the Milf thing came from) in my house the acronym "MILF?" was a question to the person you were making tea for. It indicates, Milk in First, or Milk In Last? It came from my Lancastrian flatmate Jon who was very particular about how his brew should be made.

And now it's all about shagging someone's ma. I don't know (shakes head in dismay)

Anonymous said...

I'm the biggest cynic in the world. But I don't like black cats crossing my path and I am a libra through and through.

Drunk Mummy said...

If you are the sort of person who looks at a mum and thinks she's a MILF, surely that just make you a motherf***er?

PI said...

So very true!

jenny said...

My sis went to see a medium once. Told her that she would meet a dark haired man by the water and marry him. She met a dark haired man, in the mountains, but he had a house near the beach. She married him. I still dont know what to think of that-- she didnt meet him BY the water.... Oh well, she's happy!

Thanks for the laugh!

Mr Farty said...

My Good Woman - She did wink as she said it. And no.

Misssy - American Pie: I've still got that LP on vinyl. It would be worth a fortune if it wasn't scratched to buggery.

I used to be Milk In First, now I'm Milk In Last. Like you needed to know that either.

Yoffi - It's a funny old world, innit? Love your blog, btw.

DM - Well, hello sexy! Glass of Châteauneuf-du-Pape?

Jenny - Two out of three ain't bad. Or so I've been told.