Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 30 April 2007

What's the Story in Balamory?

Balamory (really Portree, Skye)It appears that the Highland Council, or as they are better known in Scotchland, "thon bunch of numpties", have decided in their infinite wisdom, without bothering to ask the people who live there, to rename the Isle of Skye as Eilean a'Cheo (bless you).

This isn't even its proper Gaelic name, but it was felt that an t-Eilean Sgiathanach sounded too much like a sheep having a bronchial attack.

"Tourists making calls about travelling or staying on Skye will encounter officials instructed to use only the new Gaelic version," according to a report in The Scotchman. Oh, yes, that'll go down like a lead balloon.

"Hello, I'd like to book a trip to Skye."

"You want to go up in the sky?"

"No, I want to go to Skye."

"And once you've been up in the sky, where do you want to land?"

"I want to travel to Skye. S.K.Y.E."

"Hang on, I just check...computer says no."

"What do you mean?"

"There's no such place."

"Excuse me?"

"We've got Brunei, Mumbai, Shanghai and Dubai but no sign of Skye."

"But what about that popular song: 'Ah've jist cam doon frae the Isle of - '"

"Oh, you mean Eilean a'Cheo."

"Bless you."

"Thank you. Well, we could book you a trip, but you'd never get in."

"So why can't I visit Skye?"

"The bridge is closed."

"Closed how?"

"By the sign."

Click to enlarge

Cannae have all them tourists coming over, capturing the scenery with their cameras, learning aboot oor language and culture, spending their hard currency, tracing their ancestors and that, ye ken.


BOSSY said...

Aye, but the colors of the houses are cool.

Mr Farty said...

BOSSY - Balamory is a TV program set in Skye and watched by young kids and tripped-out students. It shore is purty.

apositivepessimist said...

I love that term "numpties" I will no doubt steal it somewhere down the track.

oooh pritty houses.

Teeny said...

>an t-Eilean Sgiathanach sounded too much like a sheep having a bronchial attack.

Bwah ha ha!! It totally does as well...

Brom said...

You cut and pasted that bridge I hope. Only a true Numpty would build something so gross looking in such a picturesque location.

A humpty numpty bridge as well.

Or is it that high to let the monster get through?

rivergirlie said...

i hope there will be highly paid officials ready to slap instant fines on the unwary who dare to use the 's' word.

John Kirriemuir said...

Hi from the Isle of Berneray (population 128), Outer Hebrides, just across the water from the Isle of Skye.

Yes, it’s daft. Was also pushed through very quietly - most people here and on Skye were unaware of it. It isn’t universal, and is more for political ward naming, but … if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

It’ll confuse the German tourists even more.

Colin Will said...

It's actually a damn fine bridge. The height gives you wonderful views of the Kyle as you drive across. And I'm sure Mr F knows that the colourful houses are actually in Tobermory on Mull, not S**e.

Mr Farty said...

Apos - You're welcome, I'm sure.

Teeny - I didn't even have to think about that one. Ta.

Brom - Nope. Had to hunt for a while for the right angle shot that I could stick the sign on, but that's the real Skye Bridge.

I've seen worse. Actually, I've seen much worse.

Girlie - Wouldn't surprise me at all.

JK - Now why does that name ring a bell? *clickety* Ah. I nicked a lovely picture of a tree from you six months ago for wallpaper. Still using it.

Now you know as well as I do that there's no such place as the Outer Hebrides, it's Na h-Eileanan an lar now.

Oh, those poor German tourists, they'll think they're coming to Auld Reekie (Embra, folks) and end up in the wrong place.

Colin - Tobermory, Portree, whatever. The picture I used was Skye, but you're right, Balamory was filmed on Mull. They do look very similar. Sorry.

rilly super said...

never mind the local economy, that lovely song just isn't going to scan now is it?

Speed bonnie boat, like a bird on the wing,
Onward, the sailors cry
Carry the lad that's born to be king
Over the sea to Eilean a'Cheo

Mr Farty said...

Rilly - Hellair! Welcome to a bit further Oop North. Have you seen my Eilean a'Cheo Terrier?

Liz said...

Good grief!

I thought it was only the southern softie politicians down here in Englandshire who indulged in this sort of dumb, pointless tweaking.

Perhaps the Highland Council have been sneaking south of the border to take lessons in daftness. Are these people up for re-election on 3 May like English councillors? If so, I hope their disgruntled electorate put them out of a job.

Mr Farty said...

Liz - Feck, I knew there was something I was supposed to do today. Then again, why bother? It only encourages them.