Farty's Fortunes

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

You'll Have Someone's Eye Out With That

There seems to be an epidemic of PC tomfoolery this week, I hope the relevant authorities are looking into it, what if it turns out to be infectious?

At Cambridge University, TPTB have banned mortarboard throwing on health and safety advice from the hat police. And quite right too, I wouldn't want one of those landing on me.

A mortar board yesterday

In Essex, the bunting brigade have put a stop to the tradition of hanging little birds above the road by issuing a six-page document advising that the string would have to be tied to "stainless steel eyebolts that have to undergo rigorous wind and stress tolerance testing". As you do.

JordanHaving nothing better to do, like catch criminals, West Midlands Police have demoted an anti-terrorist officer for the heinous crime of putting a poster of Jordan in his locker.

Oh. That Jordan. Even so...Jordan

In Northumberland, a 16-year-old boy was handed a £50 fine for dropping a helium balloon after sucking the helium out to make his voice squeaky. Fair enough, the ugly twat fully deserved it.Max Twizell

And isn't it amazing what you can buy online? Or not, if the busybodies get in the way. A Canadian couple have been arrested for trying to sell their baby daughter on Craigslist for $C10,000 in the same week that a pair of Germans were done for putting their son on eBay for €1. Does that mean girls fetch a better price or that Craigslist is the better marketplace? If only Craigslist had been around when Little Miss Farty was born, sigh.

Baby Monkey


Laurie said...

Do you have Indigo Buntings in Scotland? I remember seeing them in Texas and maybe New York.

Adorable baby picture. How COULD you think of selling her on e-bay?

#Debi said...

I have to assume that she favors you and not Mrs. Farty...

(seriously, dude, THAT was NOT what I expected to see so early in the AM...)

Jacki said...

Oh God, that is an ugly picture! And believe me, there are days I want to hang a "free to a good home" sign from my daughter. But I still love her.

john.g. said...

That's a Gremlin! And what about the 150 year old monkey puzzle tree getting the chop because the fronds are sharp, even though no one has hurt themselves?

Mr Farty said...

Laurie - I don't think we get Buntings much even in England, let alone Scotchland. Wikipedia says they are like American Sparrows, which I have seen. In Canadia.

And I wouldn't dream of selling LMF on eBay. One lousy Euro? Forget it! Now Craigslist...

#Debi - It's not what I was expecting either when I googled 'baby monkey', to tell the truth. Isn't t'internet wonderful?

Jacki - Ah, you've got to love your kids. Cos you're not allowed to dump them at the maternity hospital.

Oh. My mistake.

John - Well, it's not as if Monkey Puzzle trees are extremely rare. No, wait...why, yes they are. Twats.

dkuroiwa said...

That is one funky looking monkey. Yikes!!
and here in japan...there are some hospitals where there is a special little door for people to leave their babies that they don't want or can't take care of (i always pictured it like a video drop at the rental shop, but...i don't think that's right). My 10-year old son and I were watching the news when this came on...I told him he was lucky because i didn't think that his butt would fit in the door!!
I crack myself up sometimes!!!

Mr Farty said...

Deb- Lola - I'd heard of those drop-offs. I also heard that some parents were dropping off two-year-olds. Naughty.