A Brief History Of Scotchland - Part 3

Gay Friar's Boaby was an STD of the clergy a wee dug that ran through the streets of Auld Reekie 150 years ago. Although many people tried to adopt him, he preferred to be on his own, often helping young boys or engaging in secret agent-type activities. Sometimes he would pretend to be a beeatch, dressing up as a Border Collie and answering to the name of "Lassie". This penchant for cross-dressing persists in Scotchland to this day, as Mr Angry will attest.

The City of Embra was for a time known as "Auld Reekie", a term of affection named after the delicious aroma which trailed after Mr Farty's ancestors, especially after a good Indian curry. Or possibly because of the smoke from burning witches, cannibals and other ne'er-do-wells. Glasgow has tried to steal Embra's thunder by "accidentally" setting various buildings on fire, most recently their airport, but to no avail.


Further up the coast can be found Arbroath Smokies, but that's a different kettle of fish altogether.


Another, purely gratuitous, smokin' picture: Scotch telly presenter Lorraine Kelly. Sigh.


For more totally authentic Scotch history and that, click on the Scotch facts label below.