Farty's Fortunes

Saturday, 17 May 2008

A Brief History Of Scotchland - Part 3

Gay Friar's Boaby was an STD of the clergy a wee dug that ran through the streets of Auld Reekie 150 years ago. Although many people tried to adopt him, he preferred to be on his own, often helping young boys or engaging in secret agent-type activities. Sometimes he would pretend to be a beeatch, dressing up as a Border Collie and answering to the name of "Lassie". This penchant for cross-dressing persists in Scotchland to this day, as Mr Angry will attest.

The City of Embra was for a time known as "Auld Reekie", a term of affection named after the delicious aroma which trailed after Mr Farty's ancestors, especially after a good Indian curry. Or possibly because of the smoke from burning witches, cannibals and other ne'er-do-wells. Glasgow has tried to steal Embra's thunder by "accidentally" setting various buildings on fire, most recently their airport, but to no avail.

Smeato to the rescue
Further up the coast can be found Arbroath Smokies, but that's a different kettle of fish altogether.

Arbroath Smokies
Another, purely gratuitous, smokin' picture: Scotch telly presenter Lorraine Kelly. Sigh.

Lorraine Kelly
For more totally authentic Scotch history and that, click on the Scotch facts label below.


john.g. said...

There's nowt wrong with Arbroath smokies! I wish they wouldn't smoke them though!

Mr Farty said...

Hi John, I did read your blog yesterday but didn't get a chance to comment!

Claudia said...

I like to drink scotch. Does that count? ;)

Mr Farty said...

Claudia - I'm probly the only Scotchman who hates Scotch. And beer.
Welcome to my world, please come again.

And how can anyone look like Chyna but not in a good way? Does not compute.