Holly's Wallabies

Large-breasted TV presenter and lesbian match-maker Holly Willoughby had an exciting job in front of the cameras, but her private life was no less busy. For every summer, she would travel to the Australian outback to work in her Aunt Sheila's marsupial captive breeding centre.

There she would labour tirelessly, tending to little possums, wombats and that, fattening them up for Europe's top restaurants.

"Strewth, that's a lovely pair of bandicoots you've got there, young Holly," said a grizzled old billabong as he loaded another batch of koalas into the back of a waiting truck with a pitchfork.

Holly smiled and blushed at the compliment, until she realised he was referring to the twin marsupials nestled in the top of her bra for warmth.



Of course, it wasn't all fun and games down on the farm. If the young wallabies took a dislike to the milk she was feeding them, she'd get it right back in her face. (That is milk, isn't it?)


Then one day, disaster struck. I ran out of ideas for this story. The end.