Farty's Fortunes

Friday, 1 February 2008

Everything You've Always Wanted To Know About Super Tuesday But Were Afraid To Ask

I've been conducting some serious, in-depth, extensive research1 on the American Presidential Primaries and have decided to share my knowledge for the benefit of mankind. Er. And womankind and that.

Super Tuesday is when all the hopefuls still in the race to be The Most Powerful Man2 In The Universe (aka the stooge for Big Oil, Big Business and Big Guns) get to dress up as their favourite superheroes/superheroines and prance around trying to grab as many nominations as possible. And here's a sneak preview, especially for you...

GoddamHillary Goddam Clinton has chosen this snappy little Wonder Woman outfit. Very fetching, I think you'll agree. And stain-resistant, as Bill will no doubt attest.

Barack He-ManBarack O'Bama has decided to renounce his Irish roots and pose as his boytime hero, He-Man. "I Have The Power!" Or will have, soon enough.

Jor-ElSenator Jor-El McCain says he is prepared to lead the Republicans into defeat in November. With a Super inside-out roll-neck like that, he gets my vote!

Bringing up the rear, but gaining fast, we have Six-Million Dollar Man Mickey Rooney Mitt Romney. He says he believes in evolution, and who can blame him when we have the evidence in his own party?

1 I fell asleep during the cartoons and woke up half-way through the news.
2 Or woman. But let's face it, it'll be a man. There's more chance of the Merkans electing a black president than a - oh. Riiiight.


john.g. said...

Furstest! Nice one Farty!! I am waiting for instruction on photoshop, as I haven't a clue!

Marie said...

So that's what it's all about! I keep seeing "Super Tuesday" everywhere and thought it had something to do with football.

Mr Farty said...

John - Thanks, but the only thing I know about Photoshop is it's made by Adobe. I use a totally similar product called Corel PaintShopPro. Um. I used an option that lets you drag the mouse with one hand and operate the keyboard with the other hand at the same time. I know that PhotoShop has similar capabilities.
You might want to check up on whether there are alternative options for single-handed operation.

Marie - Glad to be of service. What's "football"?

Jahooni said...

I have missed you... these are funny!