Farty's Fortunes

Thursday, 22 March 2007

International Talk Like A Pirate Day

It be only six months until International Talk Like A Pirate Day, so I be thinkin' I'd better be startin' to getting ready*. So here be somethin' to educate yez, with the three four five R's.

It all be startin' with the Flying Spaghetti Monstaaarr!
Have You Been Touched By His Noodly Appendage?

His chosen people be pirates. Arrr!
One For The Ladies

Mrs Farty and I always be takin' it in turns to walk the plank. Ah-harr!
With Apologies to Andre
Then there be the lovely wench Tasha Yarrrrr...
Denise Crosby, in case you'd forgotten

And A Vast Behind were just a bonus. Aaaarrrrrgggghhh!

Now keel-haul the mainsail, belay the demon rum and buckle that swash**!

*If the Christians can start preparing for X-mas in August, for FSM's sake, why shouldn't we start early too?

**Erm, anyone know where I can get a decent swash?


Cat said...

I dressed up as a pirate for Halloween, but I didn't really talk like one...

Mr Farty said...

Cat - Sorry for not getting back to you straight away, but Lorraine Kelly was on the Charlotte Church show and I be checking for up skirt shots. As you do.

You've still got plenty of time to practice the talking, ITLAPD is September 19th. Which I probably should be puttin' in the body of the post. Arrgh! etcetera.

apositivepessimist said...

I will seriously have to stab you, many times, like over and over with my sword if you are gunna pirate-post fer the next 6 months.


lettuce said...

i'm so glad i read this post, I now understand what this is doing up the road from me in Greenwich.
And cos Beth Ditto rrrocks.

I hope on Sept. 19th there will also be some of this

and while I'm here... (I was invited back, after all)... thanks for the reassurance about fart-lighting. Phew.

But I did know that tomatoes aren't veggies.

Cat said...

I bet your hit count will go through the roof now you'd got Lorraine Kelly and "up the skirt shots" in one sentence...

Liz said...

Just dropped in to thank you for putting a picture of Johnny Depp on your blog. Just the thing to cheer me up on a dull Saturday evening!

Many years ago when I played on a pub quiz team, I used to dress up as a pirate. Our team captain thought it would put off the oposition if we wore fancy dress for all our home matches. I only chose to be a pirate because I already had a voluminous shirt and some knee length britches that dated back to my days as an 80's fashion victim, so I just stuck on a bandanna and wore skull and cross bone earrings.

Mr Farty said...

Apos - So you be thinkin' it be bad here, me beauty? Wait till ye get to A-Merr-i-kee, home of ITLAPD!

Lettuce - Well, bugger me and Roger the Cabin Boy! That be a proper eye-opener and no mistake. Except that in 1957 there be no BBC COLOUR.

Cat - I resemble that remark. 526 hits in 6 weeks? I think I be gettin' popular. Arrrgghhh!

Liz - It be my pleasure, lass! For more Pirate Fashion tips, just follow the link in my reply to Apos.

I love bandannas. No, wait. That's bananas.

kissme said...

I tagged you, the questions are on my blog.

Sorry - ish.

Drama Queen said...

And the rum. What about the rum?

*slaps forehead in frustration*

SpanishGoth said...

Cool - do we get free parrots too? Have mine in hoi-sin please.

And.....if Cat thought your hit counter was in for a pounding lets see what this does - > come here for pictures of Masterbates, Seaman Stains and all sort of jolly rogering - yes, it's Captain Pugwash

*laughs heartily and runs away*

Mr Farty said...

Kissme - I 'ate tags, I do. Oh, very well...

DQ - I'll have a Malibu, tx ;-)

Goth - Yo, ho and indeed ho.

(That's enough ho's - Ed)

SpanishGoth said...

Just make sure your site meters running and brace yourself.

Tippler said...

What about the wooden legs, hey?

Speaking of which, Paul McCartney recently gave an interview in which the journo asked: "Sir Paul, do you think you'll ever go down on one knee again".

The great man replied: "No. And I'd rather you called her 'Heather'..."

Mr Farty said...

Goth - Crikey or something, that was a big jump. Let's see the stats...Lorraine Kelly boots - I don't remember commenting on her boots, maybe a typo...Lorraine Kelly up skirt, fair enough...shaved twats, yup...feckin pervs.

Tippler - Well, hello. Make yourself at home. No, I didn't mean you should jump into bed with Mrs F!

And thanks a heap - after reading your post in The Book, I can't get that feckin tune out of my head!

"Go on now go..."