Adventures In The Canada Part 5

Where did I get to? Oh, yes, staying in a "static caravan", as LMF calls it. Well, it's definitely static, and I'm assured it can be hitched to a truck and towed off, so yep, that's what it must be. A static caravan. With two bedrooms, a kitchen larger than ours, wide-screen tv, bath, shower, broadband internet in the computer room, separate living room and dining room, porch, the only thing it's missing is the flashing blue light on top and Billie Piper.

Cousin P took the truck and drove us over to Vancouver Island on Tuesday. Hang on, does not compute. Drove us to the ferry terminal. There was a bit of a queue, so we looked in the shop. Holy cow, even more fudge! This time I resisted buying any, or rather my arteries warned me to "step away from the counter and nobody gets hurt".

The sea was calm as a millpond on the way over, although a breeze picked up and kept us from cooking. Lovely view of the tree-covered smaller islands, with snow-capped mountains in the background. Apparently Pamela Anderson was born on the main island, and is planning to open a marina here. Good luck Pammy, you should do well.

Coming off the ferry, P spotted a logging truck and yelled, "That's my son's truck!" We pulled alongside and gave a wave, then we both pulled in to the side and stopped for a natter. Vancouver Island is huge, look it up, what are the chances of running into your son there by chance? Even though he does live there? P was so pleased.

We stopped at Victoria for lunch and a spot of shopping, then headed up to Duncan in the middle of nowhere. P's semi-cousin made us welcome and showed us around her two-storey log cabin, where we watched the humming-birds feed before settling down for the night.

In the morning I topped up the feeder with sugar/water, fighting off the humming-birds while I hung it up. They're not shy around here, I tells ya. Then over to Chamainus where we saw a cat up a tree cougar carved into a tree. And some murals painted onto the sides of the buildings depicting the place's history. And wow, chocolate hedgehogs!

Next stop, Coombs, where we dined to the sound of goats walking on the roof. As you do. Oh, and they had chocolate and fudge and that as well, no wonder heart disease is the biggest killer in the western world. Probly. And a selection of incense sticks, including cannabis, wtf? I think it was round aboot here that I took a picture of Mrs Farty with a bear behind. So to speak.

Finally, up to Tofino. Why's it called that? "'T if I know!" Wandered around again, although it's a bit hilly, and no fecking restaurant would just serve us coffee, they all wanted to give us the full meal. Saw some nice-looking birds. No, eagles as it happens. And more amazing views. Canada is just wall-to-wall scenery.

Oops, it's a six-hour drive back to Duncan. And it's 7pm. Stopped at Long Beach on the way back down anyway, so that Aunty B could dip her toes in the Pacific Ocean. Stayed for an hour, since Greenpeace kept dragging her back into the water. J took over the driving, as a British driving licence gives you authority to drive anywhere in the world. Allegedly. Out of deference to local customs, he drove the whole way on the wrong side of the road, i.e. the right side of the road. Made the six-hour trip in five hours. Oh, and we saw two (separate) black bears by the roadside, but for some reason they ran off when Aunty B shouted "Oh, look! Bears!"

Next: Farty does Merka.