Farty's Fortunes

Friday, 27 February 2009

News Roundup

Still considering whether to dip my toe into journalism. In the meantime, here's what I've seen going on in and around the webz.

Some little 11-year-old spoiled brat shot and killed his dad's pregnant girlfriend with a gun designed especially for children. What. The. Fuck? No prizes for guessing which country.

PM Gordie Broon has been caught with his troosers in a conflagration, when he claimed that he only found out this week about Fat Cat Freddie's humungous pension. M'lud, may I present in evidence The Daily Telegraph from October 14th, 2008? "Sir Fred Goodwin blah blah blah reportedly stands to benefit from a pension worth more than £500,000 on leaving the group." Perhaps Gordie was reading that article with his blind eye?

It looks like we shan't be saying "Farewell to the Torrents"1 anytime soon. Liars for the RIAA had the temerity to question the credentials of an expert witness in the Pirate Bay trial, aaaarrrrr, Professor Roger Wallis, PhD, from the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm, when he testified that artists who market their own material over the intertubes (e.g. Esmeé Denters) were making the very concept of copyright a thing of the past. Read about it in Wired. I like the bit about the flowers.

Ryanair has decided to start charging customers a pound to spend a penny on their planes. Remind me next time I fly Ryanair to wear a kilt. I plan to make a sit-down protest 2.

The spoilsport brigade are up in arms again, this time over the return of the circus elephant. This animal has already been driven to extinction once, during the 20th century, by fuddy-duddy do-gooders, and it has taken a decade of DNA cloning, genetic modification and that to bring it back to life. Returning it to its natural habitat in the centre ring of a big-top circus has been a painstakingly slow business, involving beating the fuckers with sticks and chairs, electric cattle prods and in extreme cases shooting them for their own good.
Basically, they're like wild elephants without the jungle.

Wild
Elephant
Just a bit miffed
Circus_Elephant
Yep. No difference.

Twitter ye not. I'm on Twitter. WTF that is. I dunno, techno-something or other. It's a bit like blogging, except there's a limi

1 © Robert Burns.

2 Read Misssy's blog from "So my brother".

11 comments:

Misssy M said...

Re "2". And the girl WAS Irish (home of the Ryan Air) . Must have been a premonition.

Mr Farty said...

Misssy - What goes around, comes around. Innit?

I've Been Mugged said...

I wonder how much they charge for a poo? And what if you only need a 50p?

Lesley said...

Oh dear God. I knew the kiddie gun was from the States before I even checked the link. 'Cause that's how we do it over here: LIKE YOUTH GUN MAKIN'/TOTIN'/FIRIN' morons. Yeah. You can't offer prizes for something so obvious.

WOOT for your Twitter arrival! 'Bout time.

Grit said...

do not tell me further of the delights of twitter because i may become addicted, the children will be taken into care and i will be damned to hell. and it will be all your fault, mr farty.

Anna Russell said...

I should cahrage Ryanair a pound every time they make me listen to one of their trolley dollies/sales reps trying to sell me £5 sandwiches and scratch cards when I'm trying to sleep because it's a stupid o'clock flight.

Also, now I want an elephant. I shall call him Fred.

Anna Russell said...

Cahrage? I'm typing in tongues now. I meant charge.

Mr Farty said...

IBM - I suppose you could just nip outside and do it for free.

Lesley - Your life is now complete. *evil laughter*

Grit - I thought it was all the government's fault. They're obviously jealous of your superior teaching skillz.

Mr Farty said...

Anna - I've never flown Ryanair, but if they're anything like SleazyJet, I never will. How can they lose your only suitcase on an Embra-London flight FFS?

Jacki said...

I am just waiting for the announcement from United Airlines that they are going to do the same. I mean, seriously, the airline industry isn't that bad.

Mr Farty said...

Jacki - Oh, haven't you heard the latest?