Farty's Fortunes

Tuesday, 10 February 2009


Updated: Welcome, BOSSY's readers!

It's this blog's second birthday, yay!!!

My loyal readers reader has suggested that in accordance with the rules for two-year-olds, I should throw a tantrum, so here goes...

I took a look at this Technorati thing after hearing that Jenny the Bloggess is in the top 2,500 and it says this blog is right up there in the top five.BetterMillion. Sigh.

But apparently by "claiming my blog" I can get access to lots of cool1 Technorati gadgets that'll help me improve my rating. No problem...

<clicky> Register with Technorati.

<clicky> Confirm you're the owner.

<clicky> Claim that blog!


It seems that my blog has been "flagged", WTF that means...

<clicky> blah blah Sploggers? blah blah...DOs and DON'Ts blah blah

  • Do not republish content from other sites without adding your original commentary or reaction.

  • Hells, I live to add my own commentary or reaction!

  • Do not tag exessively [sic] ...over-use of tags in your posts...blah blah blah

  • btw, have you noticed my new tag cloud? Over on the right and down a bit...yep...stop. There. I had to tweak it a bit to show just the tags that occur seven times or more in my blog, otherwise the tag cloud would be bigger than the page. That's not excessive...is it?

  • Do not publish posts with nonsense text.

  • *cough*

  • Do not be overly repetitive.

  • Which is why I've given up my Friday Chart. That and boredom.

  • Do not use links that take the reader to completely different content than what is expected.

  • Would I do that? Oh, you mean the Stab-O-Mizer video tutorial? Sorry 'bout that.

  • Do not promote ... objectionable content.

  • What, and lose most of my blogroll and half one of my readers? Fook off.

But just to add insult to injury, when I went to claim my other blog2 it turns out that that one has a higher rating than this one.Novel

Just a few million higher, admittedly, but still. That stings. Especially since I haven't posted anything there in months.

I'd post something over there right now, but now I'd be worried that I might pull down its blog ranking, sigh.

No, wait. Is 4,978,471 better bigger than 1? Hey, I'm a GREAT blogger! Yay me! Maybe I will do that nude photoshoot after all!


1 But are they as cool as my patented Stab-O-Mizer??? Hells no!

2 You do know I have another blog, right? Well, I say mine. Actually, it has lots of authors. Most of them can even do joined-up writing. I just forget it's there administer it. Wanna join in?


Sewmouse said...

Your Snow Individual looks like Elmo.

I've Been Mugged said...

I like his little prick.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You have three readers now! Don't take any notice of those site meter techno farty things, they lie through their teeth. Publish and be damned!

Mr Farty said...

Sew - Elmo is a flasher too? Cool.

IBM - Would you like me to wrap it up and post it? No, wait - all you'd get would be a soggy envelope. Meh.

Daffers - Three? *swoon*

john.g. said...

nice tits!

Mr Farty said...

John - I prefer to call them moobs.

I've Been Mugged said...

If I receive one more soggy envelope through my letterbox - I fear the Postman may start getting suspicious regarding the amount of fan mail I get.

Laurie said...

I think Technorati is broken. Sort of like Jenny's dog. Happy Birthday to your blog!

The coasters you sent me for winning the competition on your first anniversary are still in our curio cabinet. I won't let my crabbit eejit husband actually use them for their intended purpose....

BOSSY said...

Lord, Bossy is breaking every rule too. Sigh. (Throwing white flag of defeat.)

Happy birthday, Farty blog!

#Debi said...

Happy blogoversary!

Where's our pie?

lady macleod said...

happy anniversary funny guy! the nude photograph? that will be coming when?

Jacki said...

That is why I don't pay attention to the do's and don't of blogging. If everyone were the same, it would be a boring world.

AtomicLaura said...

I can't remember how I found this blog. I think I'm attracted to the word 'fart'
Sometimes I send the link to my sister, who is adept at farting (hee hee, sis)So there's an extra reader for ya.
Mom always said don't worry about being popular. Or, did she say, 'stop making fart jokes'

AtomicLaura said...

I can't remember how I found this blog. I think I'm attracted to the word 'fart'
Sometimes I send the link to my sister, who is adept at farting (hee hee, sis)So there's an extra reader for ya.
Mom always said don't worry about being popular. Or, did she say, 'stop making fart jokes'

Mr H said...

I have no idea what the point of Technorati is. Or what it does.

Although as I stand proudly at;

Rank: 615,067

I should be hanging flags and bunting, as we speak.

Mr Farty said...

Laurie - Those are ornaments!
Now where have I heard that before? Are you Mrs F?

BOSSY breaks the rules with style.

#Debi - The tins of condensed milk are bubbling away as I write...

Lady M - The nude photo would be the one in this post. Even Mr Farty has boundaries. Vague, fluffy boundaries. You'd go blind if you saw the real me naked.

Jacki - If everyone were the same, there would be no internet, just zombies from one horizon to the other.

Laura - Don't worry, be farty.

Mr H - Hanging flags I can understand, but why should you be bunting? And how does one bunt anyway?

Middle Aged Woman said...

I saw you (and your impeccable literary taste) on Bossy's blog! I was just wondering who ESLE was a fan of Jasper Fforde, my favorite Welshman.

Mr Farty said...

MAW - I can't remember who put me onto him *cough*

Helen + ilana = Hi said...

As Bossy's new BFF I can only add..................you to my blog roll. Thanks Bossy fer the tip. BTW the Canuck post were grand!

Lesley said...


Okay - I have been away from the blog world for a few days and am just catching up. So imagine my JOY and SURPRISE and GIDDINESS to get a peek at the actual Mr. Farty there on Bossy's blog. I did the hugest double take that involved me Slightly Spraining My Neck but I so do not even care. It's MR. FARTY!

Happy Farty Bloggy Birthday to you. I'm sorry I didn't get here until a few months ago, but now you're stuck with me like...lint. Or, you know, other annoying things that stick on people that nobody wants stuck on them.

Gonna hit the hay. Will come back tomorrow to catch up further and leave additional gagillion word comments all over your posts. Brevity: WTF is that?

Lesley said...

And Technorati gives me an aneurysm.

Mr Farty said...

Hi - Hi. Glad you like it. Stick around.

Lesley - Who needs Technorati when you've got BOSSY plugging your blog?

Lesley said...


Mr Farty said...

Well, I waited and waited, but nobody came to my blogoversary party. Which was a shame, burp!

blissfully caffeinated said...

What?!!! You would never take anything from someone else's blog and re-post it here. How dare they!

Happy blogoversary!

Mr Farty said...

BC - I thought that was called a meme, honest ;-)