Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 2 February 2009

I'm Just Being Honest

HonestSo. Yet another award. (Yes, GiGGLe, I know I still haven't posted up yours. Be patient, and feed that baby FFS!) This one's from Taffeta Welsh Girl and it comes with strings attached. I have to tell you ten honest things about myself and then pass it on to some other bloggers who will be totally delighted to follow suit. *cough*

  1. I worked in a stationery shop (John Menzies) as a "summer" job just after leaving school, to make some money to get the hell out of Scotchland for a sunny summer holiday for a change. If a customer asked whether we had any product x, I'd never bother to check, I'd just tell them to try our competitor round the corner. They must have loved me at Waterstones.Embra_Summer
    Summer in Embra

  2. I actually quite like Simon Cowell. Louis Walsh? Not so much.

  3. One time at school I heard this really funny joke 1, so I told it to one of my school friends. He said it was a great joke, but he didn't personally find it all that funny since his dad had died of cancer. He should have explained that to me before I told him the joke.

  4. I spent many a happy schoolday afternoon perfecting my artistic skills by repeatedly drawing Snoopy atop his kennel, when I should have been studying Physics. Physics is the only subject where I scored an 'A'. Go figure.
    SnoopyYep. Still crap.

  5. I am so tech-savvy. Mrs F bought me a new mobile phone as a late Xmas present just over a year ago and I like to use it as an FM radio. I found the volume control last Saturday. I wonder if it can get Radio 1?

  6. Despite living in the UK, I visited New York years before ever setting eyes on London. Both times I was just passing through - NYC on my way to Raleigh, NC in 1976 for that long, hot summer holiday and London on my way to Seacon '79 in Brighton. My overriding memory of both cities? Dirty.

  7. I didn't cry at M's funeral (five years ago this week). At first I thought perhaps it was because I was being the strong one for Mrs F, but maybe my brain just doesn't work that way.

  8. You know how there are people who think they're the life and soul of the party, and there are those who really are? I prefer the second type.

  9. Although bad grammar makes me [sic], I still like to misspell some words deliberately. Probly something to do with being a Scotchman from Embra.

  10. I've never literally pissed myself laughing, or rolled on the floor laughing, but this really did make me laugh out loud.

Hmmm. Whose day can I ruin?
Mr H, I've Been Mugged, Lesley? Over to you.

1 An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotchman were fighting in the First World War. Sick of trench life, they were desperate to return home. All three were due for a medical check-up and were waiting outside the medical officer's quarters.
The Englishman entered. A few minutes later he came out and shouted, "Yes!, I'm going home, I've got BB".
The Scotchman thought for a while and then said, "Don't tell me, Bad Back".
The Englishman nodded.
Next, the Scotchman entered and returned after a few seconds, screaming, "FF, FF, I've got FF!".
The Englishman smiled at him and said, "That must be Flat Feet. You're going home as well ".
Then came the Irishman's turn. He reappeared a few minutes later shouting, "Yes, Yes, Yes, I've got TC !, I'm going home".
The Scotchman and the Englishman both gave him a puzzled look.
"What's TC?", asked the Scotchman.
The Irishman replied, "Terminal Cancer, isn't it great?".


BOSSY said...

Bossy likes her Scotchmen from Embra.

I've Been Mugged said...

I've Been diagnosed with TC.

Tempus Cornucopia.

Lesley said...

OMG. Your "Snoopy Atop His Kennel" drawing needs to run away and marry my "Elephant: Butt View" drawing and live happily ever after together AMEN!!

Mr. Farty, Mr. Farty. As I have been lurking around here for only about 6 months, there are still many things to learn about you. Your "M's Funeral" post is lovely. Truly.

Now I will have to stalk you twice as much...even though you've ruined my day with a meme. HA! (No. Seriously. Am honored!)

Lesley said...

Have you noticed how my comments always use five gagillion more words than everyone else's? What is wrong with me? (DON'T ANSWER THAT.)

Mr H said...

You sir, are a git.


Jacki said...

Yes, NYC is extremely dirty. It's not a beautiful city at all, really. I just like it for the shopping. :-)

I've Been Mugged said...

I've Done It.


IDI. Campers.

Welsh Girl said...

I think I've ruptured something watching that clip.... I had a holiday job in John Lewis in Embra many years ago. One of the Chippendales (they were on tour there which must have been chilly) asked me out and I said I couldn't accept as I would be playing Monopoly that night. I'll treasure the expression on his perma tanned face forever.

Mr Farty said...

BOSSY - *swoons*

IBM - Lots of time?

Lesley - I remember your elephant post, so I must have been stalking you since at least October. Spooky!

We're visiting the grave tomorrow, weather permitting.

Lesley again - sometimes more is more.

Mr H - That was fast. Everybody - go look at H's post. Tell him how good it is.

Jacki - Some people would say that's not dirt, it's character. NYC has a lot of character. It's the characterest place I've ever seen outside Africa.

IBM - I'll be right there.

Taffeta - Sweet!

AtomicLaura said...

Look what they've done to your song, John

Mr Farty said...

Laura - I saw what you did there. Thanks for the earworm.