Farty's Fortunes

Sunday, 1 March 2009

Merkan-English Dictionary - Part I've Totally Lost Count

Long-haired Scotch cows are better known as Weegies on Buckfast, although the Scotch Government has announced plans to rename them as Trumps after receiving a massive bribe cash injection from popular Scotch entrepreneur Donald Wig.

Donald Trump
Highland Cow

Words with a 'T' in the middle.
British Person: What's the name of that Merkan Country singer with the big boobies, Dolly...
Merkan: Pardon?
Merkan: PARDON.
Merkan: PARDON!
You can keep this going all day if you work at it.
Dolly Whatsherface

Those things made out of flour, eggs and milk, then baked in a very hot oven for twenty minutes? They're called Yorkshire Puddings. Pop over to Little Red Boat if you don't believe me.
Yorkshire Puddings

When Grandson number two comes to stay overnight, he always asks me to make French Toast for his breakfast. I'm guessing Merkans call that Freedom Toast. Anyway, this is what I use to beat the eggs.
Egg Beater
This? Is just lazy.



Laurie said...

I think that's an insult to Highland cows the world over.

Mmmm. Yorkshire pudding. Now I'm hungry.

Lesley said...

Great. That is EXACTLY how I make eggs and I even have Egg Beaters in my fridge right now. Which, in MY world, makes me a Master Chef thankyouverymuch.

Mr. Trump wishes his hair looked as good as that Highland Cow. MOOOO.

#Debi said...

I saw what you did there with the 1st photo... naughty boy... ;)

The bovine is WAAAY better looking than a Trump...

I'm sure you know this already, but EggBeaters are more than just already-mixed-up eggs. They have taken the cholesterol (you know, that stuff that makes things taste good?) out of them...

Mr Farty said...

Laurie - They are great. Even Aunt Bessie's, as long as they're not the pre-cooked ones.

Lesley - I only heard about Egg Beaters a couple of weeks ago, when some numpty poured herself a glass of orange juice from the fridge. Or not as the case may be. Ack!

#Debi - Yes, I did know that. I googled them right after hearing about them. As I say, ack!

Sewmouse said...

There is little more relaxing to the soul than gazing upon the hirsute visage of a fine Shutterstock in the morning!

Someone should make a calendar of these beautiful Highland Cows!


Mr Farty said...

Sew - That's a brilliant idea!


Jacki said...

I can honestly say I have never used Egg Beaters. I don't know what is wrong with using real eggs.

Anna Russell said...

But, but... I LIKE Heelan' Coos.

They can't even be bothered to add the letter "U" to anything, so it's no surprise. Or should that be sprize?

Mr Farty said...

Jacki - Real eggs are also ready-packaged with bio-thingy shells.

Anna - I did a post on the "Missing U" already. Here it is.

Laurie said...

The only part of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas I remember is where Dolly Pardon said she could never be a cheerleader because she'd blacken both her eyes.

btw, I stole your cow picture for a blog post. Hope you don't mind...

Mr Farty said...

Laurie - You stole my cow picture? The Donald Trump one or the Heeland Coo one? Never mind, I'll take a look...