Farty's Fortunes

Saturday, 23 August 2008

An Important Notification !

From: Virgin Media Billing Center Centre (Virgin is based in the UK, twatface)
To: mrfarty@blueyonder.co.uk (Mr Farty isn't the account holder)
Subject: An Important Notification ! (Space before a punctuation mark? Come on!)
Date: 23 Aug 2008 10:28
Dear Customer: (Why so formal? Just call me Mr Farty!)

We apologize apologise (see above) if u you (txt spk in a formal document? I dnt thnk so!) had any trouble accessing our services. In the last month we have worked day and night, (no comma needed) for the improvement of our services. We want to do our best, and make it as simple as possible for us, but especially for you, our valued customer. From the beginning of this year we have had a big number of solicitations (who still uses that word outside the phishing community?) and because of this it was necessary to replace the old database server with a new one, which has the information (what information?) about our new clients, and where some of our clients are going to get moved. Please verify your information in the (Missing definite article) next 48 hours and to (conjunction in place of a preposition) help us avoid the lock-out of your services. We require all old accounts-holders (we're people, people!) to verify their information on file with us. To verify your account details now, please visit our secure server webform (Is that a word?) by clicking on (missing preposition) the hyperlink below :

http://kamiserv.biz/ (disguised as)

If you choose to ignore our request, you leave us no choice but to temporary temporarily (Jeez, Louise, don't tell me you trust a spellchecker!) suspend your account. (I think I'll risk it.) We appreciate your business and hope to keep you as a customer for life.

Virgin Media Online is so easy; no wonder it's number one ! (There's that extra space again)
We apologize apologise (UK, not US) for any inconvenience.

Thank You for using Virgin MediaTM

Please note: Virgin Media will Never (Leading Caps In Mid-Sentence) ask for (missing preposition again!!) your credit card ATM pin. Don't give it to anyone. (Don't worry. I won't.)

©2008 Virgin Media, Inc. All Rights ReservedTM


Jacki said...

I personally like the emails that inform me I have either won a lottery or are asking me to allow them to transfer millions of dollars into my account. I really want to meet someone who actually falls for that crap.

Giggle! said...

LMFAO!!! I'm the laziest when it comes to good gramma! :-P

You'd be here all year picking out each and every mistake in just ONE of my posts!!! *GiGGLeS* xx

john.g. said...

Pathetic use of grammar, ain't it?

Mr Farty said...

Jacki - I've never had an email about winning the lottery, sigh. OTOH, I've lost count of the other kind of email. Must be about 419, I reckon.

Giggle - Your blog, your rules.

John - Ah cannae stannit when an offishul letur is as crap as that.