Farty's Fortunes

Friday, 15 August 2008

Everybody Is Someone Else's Weirdo

Mummy, there's a man at the door with a bill!
Don't be silly, dear, it must be a duck.

Redneck: What a Scotchman gets when he goes skiing in March, if he thinks the only protection he'll need is a pack crate of condoms.

Jabba the Hutt off Star WarsTM has a gay uncle Zero. Why not have a gay, purple, tattooed, 500-kilo alien? Maybe people will stop complaining now about Jar-Jar Fucking Binks. But I doubt it.

A woman had to be cut free after impaling herself on a statue of Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction. Allegedly she "fell onto the statue while staggering around". Is it bad for my karma if I laugh?

Z-list sleb Jade Goody, who created a Big Bother a couple of years ago by referring to a Bollywood icon as a "dog", "The Indian" and "Poppadom", is to appear in "Bigg Boss". This is some kind of Indian TV show where people are locked up in a house together; wonder where they got that idea from? Did I mention it's hosted by Bollywood icon Shilpa Shetty? Can't wait till it's repeated on Dave...

"Day three hundred and twelve, four am. The fat white bitch is in the kitchen with her head in the oven, but we've switched the gas and water pipes. Vote now to choose between blasting loud Indian music into the house and putting curry powder in the milk again. Who goes mad? You decide." Viewing figures should go through the roof.

TV isn't what it used to be, innit?


#Debi said...

That nanny would make an excellent car alarm, would she not?

Good! :)

1st Lady said...

She's downright scary.

Mr Farty said...

She's a scream. Almost literally.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

I very nearly posted that clip on my blog this week, Farty! Have you been reading my mind? Instead I used another clip of the same (brilliant) actress looking quite different.

Mr Farty said...

Daffers - I cannot tell a lie (without blushing). After viewing the clip on your blog, I watched a few more before pouncing on "Watch With Nanny". She is good.