Farty's Fortunes

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Tickle Me Tuesday

So Wendy Alexander has been resigned as leader of the Scotch Labour Party. Who could have seen that coming? Apparently not the Scotch Labour Party. Her decision to quit "came as a shock to her colleagues", who nevertheless wasted no time queuing up to take her place.

EUrocrats have banned a market trader from selling Kiwi fruits because they are 1mm too small. He can't even give them away, so he'll have to pay to have 5,000 of them destroyed. Can someone remind me why the Lisbon Treaty is supposed to be a "good thing"?

The English Football Association (motto: "we know FA about football") has conceded that Engerland is never going to win the World Cup again, and consequently banned competitive football matches for children. Might as well start as you mean to go on.

Plans are also afoot to take away pointy sticks from javelin throwers, force prospective Olympic swimmers to wear armbands and replace real horses with hobby horses at Ascot - can't have those big beasts giving the wee jockeys a nasty kick.

Tennis GirlThank goodness there's still Wimbledon, that's what I say. (Click to enlarge)

Toot toot!

P.S. Click HERE for more Tickle Me Tuesday stuff.


Jacki said...

Shit! We are paying $1.00 per kiwi fruit over here and the EUocrats are going to force a grocer to throw perfectly good kiwi fruit away?!?!! How retarded is that? No wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

Memarie Lane said...

I read today that some Muslims there are protesting pictures of a puppy on a police advertisement. It's like suing someone for sending you a Christmas card if you don't celebrate. Crazy stuff going on over there in your neck of the woods.

john.g. said...

This country of ours is f*cked!

Mr Farty said...

Jacki - Thank goodness there isn't a WORLD FOOD SHORTAGE or anything. No, wait...

Marie - The local Muslim shopkeepers are as bemused as the police, it's just one funda.mentalist.

John - Very succinct.

Giggle! said...


You clever cookie with the photo trick!!

I'm gonna steal that trick when the time is right! xx

Mr H said...

We here at A Scandal & A Disgrace are utterly devastated aboot Bendy Wendy. After all, what I am supposed to do with the Bumper Book of Two Headed Baby Jokes now?

Laurie said...

It took me a minute or two to figure out that you weren't saying that the Olympic swimmers were in mourning.

Why do I feel like giggling whenever I see GiGGLe'S picture? Even though I have no idea what ROFLMFAO means.

Mr Farty said...

Giggle - You're welcome. I'm sure you can figure it out, but if you need a hand, just shout.

Stuart - Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

Laurie - FFS, not that kind of armband!


Laurie said...

ah. Thank you. I tend to SLTMN (snort loudly through my nose). Very unladylike.