Farty's Fortunes

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

A Novel Idea

I think it's fair to say that everyone has a great novel inside them - it's just that, if they're anything like me, they're probly far to lazy busy to write more than one chapter before giving up.

Fear not, for the solution is now at hand!

I give you...(rat te-tat-tat-tat ta-TAH!)

The All-New Twenty-First-Century Online Collaborative Internet Novel!!!

I don't think I've ever used three exclamation marks before, I may have to go and have a little lie down...

I'm quite sure no-one in the history of mankind has ever had such a brilliant, original idea. And anyone who uses Google to verify that fact will be tracked down and shot for insubordination. La-la-la can't hear you anyway.

The Rules

  • Prospective authors can join by emailing me. Only the crème de la crème1 will be accepted, of course.

  • Each chapter should end on a cliff-hanger and solve acknowledge the previous chapter ending.

  • There will be a weekly vote for the style in which the next chapter should be written.
    e.g.

    • Tabloid: Cat in Mat-Sitting Shock – House Prices set to Crash

    • Sci-fi: The space-cat wrapped its tentacles around the mat and snarled, “What are mew looking at?”

    • Horror: With its stainless steel claws, the cat slashed John’s guts open before it lost interest and fell asleep on the mat.

    • Western: A mean, old, scarred tom-cat curled up on the rush mat outside the saloon.

    • Romance: “Oh, Tiddles,” exclaimed Betsy, as the pampered puss lolled on the mat, “do you think he even knows I’m alive?”

    • Chaucer: Ye catte satte upon ye matte. For sooth.

    • Technical Manual: Attach cat to mouse-mat using bonding resin #3b before applying sticking plasters to exposed skin.

    • Agony Aunt: Er...

    • Legal Document: Um...

    • Manga Comic: Well...

    • Fantasy: You get the idea.



Who's up for it?



1 Anyone who can spell "novel" using nine letters or less.

11 comments:

Cat said...

I used to do a similar thing with a group of people at work, several jobs ago - it was generally hilarious, but we were very, very bored.

I'm in if you'll have me.

Mr Farty said...

Cat - Crikey, that was fast, I haven't even got a statcounter added yet!

I'll add you to the list of authors as soon as I figure out how to...your ticket number is 1.

john.g. said...

I(john), am scared. My late Mum was called Betsey!

Mr Farty said...

John - I'll take that as a "yes".

livesbythewoods said...

Ooh! Ooh! Can I play?

Mr H said...

As long as you can put up with the prevalence of;

Fire!
God!
Sandra Bullock!
Rawk!
Exclamation points!

I'm in

BOSSY said...

Fabulous idea! But a whole chapter? Maybe Bossy is in for a paragraph?

Mr Farty said...

WithaY - You'll need to send me your email address first, I can't find it on your blog.

Mr H - see above.

BOSSY - Attagirl!

livesbythewoods said...

It's right away down at the bottom (fnar)

livesbythewoods@hotmail.co.uk

Brom said...

GREAT idea F. Just wish I had the time to guarantee that I could contribute. I will be watching - definitely.

Mr Farty said...

WithaY - Invitation sent - oh, I see you've accepted already. You been sitting waiting patiently all weekend?

Stu - I looked harder for your email address - welcome.

BOSSY - Please respond to the invitation, so that you can start posting and that. Pretty please.

Brom - Even a paragraph will do.

All - There's really no need to wait - just jump in with any ideas and hope you don't get your wires crossed!

Any more ideas for writing styles? Sonnet, haiku, action adventure...combo?