Farty's Fortunes

Friday 28 September 2007

Random News

The Jeremy Kyle Show has been lambasted by a judge for its gratuitous violence, which was described as "a human form of bear-baiting".

Next on Celebrity Bear-Baiting: Vanessa Feltz, a bag of doughnuts and a cattle prod. I think Channel 4 could be onto a winner here.

In science news, quantum computing has come a step closer with boffins successfully transmitting a microwave photon along a wire. Now if they can scale that up a billionfold, nobody's bank account will be secure. Don't Panic!

Quantum physics is just plain weird. Erwin Schrödinger once proposed a famous thought experiment involving a cat1, a box, a piece of radioactive material and a geiger counter connected to a hammer. Oh, and a bottle of poison gas. In a given period of time, there is a 50% chance that an atom will fission, leading to the cat's death. In quantum terms, until you open the box, the cat is both dead and alive. Oh, and there's a 100% chance that you'll get lacerated trying to put the cat into the box in the first place.

1 It's a little-known fact that Schrödinger had two cats. One was called Lucky; the other wasn't.

6 comments:

Manuel said...

or Pete Doherty and an actual bear...

Mr Farty said...

Or Barry Scott and an actual bear...

BOSSY said...

Snort - you are a funny funny man. Wait - you are a man, right?

Cat said...

God, I love Jeremy Kyle. I live for midweek days off when I can watch his show - provided I can get up on time. It reminds me that my life could be so much worse.

Honey said...

you know this one perhaps:
but the theory that jam on bread when dropped always lands sticky side down, and the theory that cats when dropped always land on their feet can be combined to produce a levitating cat.
Strap a piece of jammy bread sticky side up to the cats back, chuck it out the first floor window and ... voila

Mr Farty said...

BOSSY - Hang on...

*checks down pants*

...yup.

Cat - I've never seen his show, just heard about it. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.

Honey - I first read about the buttered cat array in New Scientist back in 1996 (and they got it from Omni). Still makes me laugh.