Farty's Fortunes

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

White Christmas

Reading Misssy's post about Xmas made me go all misty-eyed. Not for the shite Xmasses we get in Scotchland, where you have to light the fire two hours before you get up in order to avoid getting hypothermia whilst preparing Xmas lunch; where you have to shine a torch on the clock face to tell when it's time to turn on the telly for the Queen's Speech, cos it's so frigging dark at three o'clock in the fecking afternoon; where the best present you can hope for is a lump of coal.

No, I'm talking about South Africa, home of Eldest Daughter, Son-In-Law and Youngest Grandson. Ah, black Santas in full costume in the baking hot malls, sweating their arses off because the aircond's on the blink again. Beaches thronging with bathers who need to take a dip in the sea to cool off in the forty-degree heat. Going for a day-trip to see the animals, and I don't mean the in-laws fighting over the turkey. Just being able to go outside without your sporran icing up.

I'd love to go back there. All donations gratefully accepted.

It could be worse, we could be living in the Scottish Highlands.

13 comments:

SpanishGoth said...

You should have a caption competition for the first photo. Know what you mean about the cold in Scotland though - brrrrr

Z said...

But all the Scots I know in Norfolk tell me how wonderful it is to live in Scotland.

Jo said...

There never seems a good time to visit scotland, weather wise. Literally every night on the news there are permanent rain clouds above the place...is there ever a nice day??!

Misssy M said...

I can say it over here, but not on my own blog (as some of my people read it) but I DREAM of a Christmas abroad with only me and The Flying Martinis.

But if I even were to suggest it, it would send shockwaves of sadness horror and disappointment through my family and just not worth it. My mother would never speak to me again. Sad, isn't it?

And now I've just some lovely pics of SA and want to go there too...

john.g. said...

Half a bag of coal on it's way!!

Mr Farty said...

S - Wish You Were Here?

Z - So why are they in Norfolk?

Jo - Yeah, it's totally crap. Pay no attention to the live webcam feed, it's a liar.

Misssy - Thank God nobody reads this blog!

A word of warning - we only got to go at Xmas after I agreed the Scotch grandkids, their mum and Little Miss Farty could come with. And the price of aviation fuel appears to double in December - we're still paying off the loan on the flights.

Longer post on SA to follow, still in composition...

John - Clever clogs!

BOSSY said...

My that does sound nice. Where's the part about Santa's reindeer on snow-covered roofs?

MKWM said...

And there was me thinking everyone was dreaming of a white Xmas. Anyway, because of the global warming and climate change, you will soon be able to go outside without your sporran icing up.

Mr Farty said...

Bossy - The lions got the reindeer.

Ms Minky - Yay for global warming!

tiny london said...

Wait a minute, by the way, don't disappoint yourself! Are you not aware that they don't HAVE Christmas in hot countries?

Mr Farty said...

Tiny - You've been taking that Band Aid song way too seriously.

And you've obviously never been to Bethlehem at Xmas. Oy vey!

Cat said...

If I get my top new job I am going to go away somewhere hot for Christmas. On my own.

Mr Farty said...

If? What's this "if"?