Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 24 September 2007


I hate dictionaries. Do you know how many pages I had to read to find a word that meant "A new word, expression, or usage"?

None, of course, I just remembered it. But if I hadn't known it to begin with, it would have taken ages. Dictionaries are only any good if you already know what the word is and how to spell it. Does that make a dictionary tautologically redundant?


Anyway, I love it when I first hear a new word or phrase and instantly I know exactly what it means. Like the "Oil Widow Mums" in Aberdeen, or "Fat CokeTM" as against "Diet CokeTM". And I got "Ice Mummy" right away.

I admit I was rather taken aback when I first heard the phrase Bouncy Castle. "And you say you can put one of these things in your back garden?"

Of course, Alan Partridge took it to the logical extreme with "Monkey Tennis!"

Who, I wonder, was the first person to try a Coffee Enema? Did it go like this?

But whoever heard of "Corporate Ethics?" Now you're having a laugh.


Misssy M said...

I saw the title of this post on my Google readers and thought, "That'll be Farty on about Star Trek again"

Ah that good Scottish education- it'll never let you down...much.

BOSSY said...

Bossy will return in a second. She had to go to the bathroom.

john.g. said...

You have some strange search patterns.

Mr Farty said...

Misssy - The Neologisms of Betelgeuse III.
"He's dead, Jim. You take his tricorder, I'll get his wallet."

BOSSY - Wash that funnel and tubing out when you're done with them.

John - You think I have odd search patterns? My 8,000th visitor came here today via "really hurt slave pics that are real". Weirdo.