Farty's Fortunes

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Why No, I Don't Drive. Why Do You Ask?

Formula 1 driving. WTF is the fascination with fast cars being driven in close proximity to other drivers around the same track over and over and over? Surely it just encourages the audience to engage in reckless behaviour when they themselves take the wheel. Can you picture the same mad enthusiasm if the sport were some other life-threatening activity?

Coming soon to Sky Sports 1:

  • F1 Smoking. The B&H championship launches amidst a blaze of publicity and a cloud of smoke.

  • F1 Leaving Your Pet Locked In The Car During A Heatwave. How long can Rex survive as the thermometer climbs ever higher?

  • F1 Leaving The Iron On. Can the Fire Brigade get there in time?

  • F1 Running With Scissors. An old favourite, this. Get the Band-Aids ready, mum!

  • F1 Standing On A Chair To Hang Curtains. Put the emergency services on standby!

  • And finally, what can beat Formula 1 Ladder-Climbing Whilst Carrying an Open Tin of Paint?


Welsh Girl said...

Now those are all sports I would excel at - particularly the ladder / paint can one.

Pearl said...

I'm still waiting for cat juggling to make its comeback.

lady macleod said...

I knew I would get a laugh if I came to see you! I rather fancy tossing the tree in a lightning storm.

Mr Farty said...

Taffeta - I've become something of a master at spilling paint; I don't even need the ladder any more.

Pearl - But can you juggle cats and budgies together? I'd pay to see you do that. Get practising. Or is it practicing? Get rehearsing.

Lady M - Caber. It's called tossing the caber. Or tossing the charcoal, depending on that lightning.

Lesley said...

Okay. I think I'm getting some insight into what it is you're doing around the house when you're not blogging or tweeting.

The other day? I participated in F1 Putting The Roll Of Paper Towels On The Stove Top Where I Had Just Turned Off The Burners Only Thirty Seconds Earlier. Came *this close* to turning into F1 Watching The Kitchen Ignite. It was just as awesome as it sounds. Which means YES I TOTALLY WON SO WHERE IS MY DAMN TROPHY???

Misssy M said...

And here we are at the Men's Olympic Wet Towel Flicking event. Jim "One Eye" Jones surely the underdog in this round.

john.g. said...

F1 fitting a light bulb.

F1 talking, women only!

Mr Farty said...

Lesley - Sorry, "when you're not blogging or tweeting"? What else is there?

Misssy - Ow!

John - Let me guess, you're not married?