Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 9 March 2009

Vapourware

So the Merkan military-industrial complex are refurbishing their Trident nucular weapons for our UK nucular submarines (once the damage has been repaired) but they have hit a tiny snag.

Vanguard

They've got plenty of plutonium.

Pu

They've managed to source a DeLorean DMC-12 that can still just about reach 88mph.

DeLorean

But they've totally lost the plans for one vital component.

Lost

It's a mysterious but very hazardous material codenamed Fogbank.

Classified

Better known as a Flux Capacitor.

Fogbank

Without it, their nucular missiles are nothing more than fancy doorstops.

Doorstop

Or worse.

Oopsy

All the scienticians involved in the original design have either died, retired or "moved on".

Doc

Where's Marty McFly when you need him?

McFly

12 comments:

Anna Russell said...

Oh man, I hate Trident with a passion. I thought I hated it more than anything till I saw your pic of McFly. Then I realised I was wrong.

I'm telling you, it's all going to go Dr Strangelove.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Roads? Where we're going we won't need any roads.

AtomicLaura said...

Obama's repealed the stem cell restrictions so McFly will be on the scene soon-- sans shakes.

Welsh Girl said...

Presumably, 80 years into the future they will clone the necessary bods and then send them back in the nick of time? Otherwise, I have a spare flux capacitor in the shed somewhere...

john.g. said...

Is that an Irish rocket?

Mr Farty said...

Anna - I just wish it would go tits-up far, far away from me.

MAW - That would be a good question in a pub quiz.

A Laura - That? Would be nice.

Taffeta - I'd rather leave them to rust. FFS don't let the NNSA find out where you live.

John - Nice one!

lady macleod said...

If only everyone would get their nuclear programs in such grand shape, we could all sleep easier eh? That glowing in the dark thing has its advantages....

Ché l'écossais said...

Here in Belgium, we don't need no stinking nuclear submarines.

We have an extensive boy-scout movement that ensures our defence.

Mr Farty said...

Lady M - Regarding nucular programs, I almost had a heart attack when I heard Greenpeace were now in favour of nucular power. Turns out I heard wrong.

McChé - Does Belgium have a government? No? I'll start packing now.

Ché l'écossais said...

We don't have a governement, but we do have a Prime Minister.

He refuses to pass any legislation until we buy him the latest MarioCart for his PSP, though.

Lesley said...

OMG THEY....FORGOT?? (Why do I love this so much??) Although I really do not understand the problem: When I forget something I just make sh*t up! Fake it 'til you make it, Merken scientists!

Mr Farty said...

McChé - Now that's my kind of government!

Lesley - The best part? Gordy Broon has just decided to ditch the whole nucular program, Trident and all. Yay for Merkans with Alzheimers!