Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 22 December 2008

Stuff and Nonsense

Sooooooooooo... out shopping, I couldn't help but notice this in my trolley:
Original improved
Original. Improved. Now I'm not saying all marketing types are a bunch of coke-addled suits - no, wait. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Police in Glasgow are threatening to arrest anyone caught singing the Hokey Cokey, since it incites religious hatred. Whereas Uptown Girl just incites hatred of talentless Irish cover bands.

David TennantDonald Trump, or Donald Fucking Trump as I like to refer to him, has been nominated for the Scot of the Year Award. The usual requirement that nominees should be born on Scottish soil was apparently met by Trump digging up a million tons of fine Aberdeen coastline and exporting it to his New York birthplace.

It should be a close-run race, as he's up against such luminaries as Andy Torn-Face Murray, Gordon Greetin' Broon, Gordon Christhesugly Ramsay and Fred Loser Goodwin. Oh and David Phwoar Tennant.

Finally (for now) - the credit crunch is really taking its toll at Farty Towers. I arrived home early from work today to find Mrs F sewing a turkey's head onto a fish supper. Picture that if you can.

Toot toot!

6 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

Daughter loves David Tennant and all things Who-ish. He's wearin' that sporran a bit low, innit?

Laurie said...

I have a fridge magnet that says, 'What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?' None of my Catholic friends told me it was a hate song.

Mr Farty said...

MAW - They don't call him David Ten-inch for nothing!

Laurie - Apparently Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary is about Bloody Mary Tudor. Who knew?

I've Been Mugged said...

David Ten-inch? Pretty maids all in a row? Bloody Mary?

REALLY Mr. Better Oot Than In - what can you be meaning? Who would have thunk it?

Laurie said...

Oh, right. Next you'll be telling me that Georgie Porgie is about the first Duke of Buckingham, George Villiers, or that Little Jack Horner was about the Steward to the Abbot of Glastonbury.

Jacki said...

Merry Christmas to you and Mrs. Farty!