Farty's Fortunes

Saturday, 13 December 2008

Dying Of Man Flu

*cough* *cough* *cough*

Feck. I hate it when I don't feel well. Seriously, I'd rather be back at work but somehow I don't think they'd thank me for coughing all their germs that they infected me with FFS! back over them. At least, the last time I tried that, they gave me evil eyes, there's gratitude for you.

Anyway.

Am I the only one who's noticed that you never see Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana in the same room at the same time? Not that I'm suspicious or that, but...

Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus
Hannah Montana
Hannah Montana

There's an old joke about the ambassador's wife at a big function in Hong Kong showing up with a fancy brooch on her dress with pretty Chinese characters on it, which then totally gives her a red face because it turns out the symbols translate as "Official Badge, City of Hong Kong, Registered Prostitute #324" (I may have got the number wrong). Thank feck that sort of thing's never happened in real life. In a scientific journal. Like the journal of the Max Planck Institute in Germany. On the front cover. Horny housewives? Really?

Talking of boffins, that work they're doing on their invisibility cloak is moving along nicely. Although, if it were me, the one place I would want to be fully visible would be when I'm halfway across the road on a zebra crossing.

Invisible

I was planning to do an Ecksmas-themed Friday Chart post with a bar of gold to symbolise Spandau Ballet's classic 80's hit Gold!, but I couldn't find any songs called Frankincense and Myrrh to complete the trio. Meh. WTF is myrrh anyway? Sounds like a happy cat. Another great idea down the drain.

Gold!
Frankincense
Myrrh

Only a Merkan would think to make handguns available on prescription for the elderly and disabled. As it says in Slashdot, what could possibly go wrong? Hey, I wonder if I could get one of those off the NHS in my present state? *hack* *cough* Those pesky kids are making way too much noise outside. 'Scuse I...

Weapons for disabled

7 comments:

john.g. said...

Who are the two tarts at the beginning of this drivel? And what do they do?

#Debi said...

Hope you feel better soon. Mine took forever to shake off, and I'm still crossing my fingers that it really is done with...

I've Been Mugged said...

Ahem. That might be something to do with my latest drop off from home. Sorry Farty. The infestation should clear by itself over the next few months.

Mr Farty said...

John - One tart is the daughter of Billy "Achy Breaky" Cyrus, feck knows who the other one is.

Debi - Still coughing, sadly.

IBM - Gee ta.

Liz said...

Can we blame Miley Cyrus for the flu-bug? I'd like to claim that her music makes me sick, but I've never actually heard any of it (her father, on the other hand, has a lot to answer for!)

I've got the man-flu too - I haven't been out of the house since Thursday.

Mr Farty said...

Liz - Me neither, she just shows up in posters, packaging and assorted crap.

I'm now signed off till next week, which means I'll get dragged round the shops to help with the Xmas shopping, boo!

Liz said...

Signed off sick? Oooh - you're proper poorly. I'm feeling a lot better and I might actually go back to work tomorrow.

Sir Bruin is now down with the same lurgy I've had - infection with my germs is the thanks he gets for nursing me all weekend.