Farty's Fortunes

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Merkan-English Dictionary #10

Does it never end? [No - Ed.]

Ok, let's have a wee think...

  • Check

  • What you should do when you want to find out if you can really afford those Jimmy Choo shoes.

  • Cheque

  • What you write in order to "pay" for said shoes. Women can always afford shoes.
    Note that when your bank manager asks you to clear your humungous overdraft, under no circumstances should you attempt to offer him a cheque. This will just make him even more cross.

  • Rest room

  • In Britain, where one goes to take a rest. Usually with big, comfy chairs and sometimes even a telly.
    In Merka, where one goes for a poo.

  • Chaps

  • In Britain, chaps are blokes. Guys. Men.
    In Merka, chaps appear to be what cowboys wear to keep their legs warm.
    Christina in ChapsFor some reason, the expression "chaps in chaps" brings to mind a different image altogether. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  • Temperature

  • When a Brit says it's 32° they mean it's fecking hot.
    When a Merkan says it's 32° they mean it's freezing.
    The only time we seem to be in complete agreement is when it's minus forty. Even a Glaswegian will admit that's cold.

Toot toot!


Jacki said...

Ha! I so remember the first time in Scotland when we asked someone where the "rest room" was and they literally took us to a room with chairs. We asked where the toilets were and she said "oh, you mean the water closet." Yeah, we were totally confused by that point.

Oh, and Peter and I always have discussions about temperature. I only know Farenheit and he only knows Celcius.

Mr Farty said...

Jacki - I'd rather use a water closet than a dry closet, even if the latter is more eco-friendly.

Marie said...

"Check" also means "got it!" Like if someone is asking you if you remembered to do something.