Farty's Fortunes

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Merkan-English Dictionary - BOSSY Special

To commemorate that madwoman's BOSSY's Excellent Road Trip, herewith and heretofore please allow Mr Farty to present a little something to help travellers in their time of need.


Saturn

Now the astronomers amongst you might be forgiven for believing that Saturn is a planet, but that's just a matter of opinion.
The Merkan view has it that the Saturn looks more like this:
Saturn
Well, "planet" does mean "wanderer", and BOSSY's itinerararary certainly involves a lot of wandering.


Diaper

If I was planning to spend 25 hours a day driving, I'd be wearing one of these too. After all, you never know how far it's going to be to the next rest stop.
Are we there yet?
In case you were wondering, 16-28 lbs doesn't mean capacity.


Edamame

Edamame are green soy beans harvested at 80 percent maturity, high in protein and fibre and low in calories. Apparently you don't eat the husks, just the beans. Who knew?
EdamNot to be confused with Edam, which is high in yummy and low in lead. I know which I'd prefer to snack on to keep me going.



John Cusack

Bossy's husbandJohn Cusack is fiercely protective of his private life, but that won't stop Mrs Cusack from tracking him down eventually. Map? Check. Chloroform? Check. Escape route? Check. List of bloggy friends with basements ready and alibis prepared? Check.


Jail

Or gaol in Early Modern English, this is a place best avoided. See above.


Thongs

ThongsSlightly less comfortable than flats when driving, but at least you don't have to worry about toe cleavage.



Driving on the left

All sensible countries, including Great Britain, Guyana, South Africa, India, Japan, Australia and New Zealand to name but a few (there are 74 in total), drive on the left. The other handful choose to drive on the right, i.e. wrong side of the road.
According to the British Ministry of Transport, “In the interests of safety, you are advised to practise [driving on the left] in your country of origin for a week or two before driving in the UK.”

I can't wait. BOSSY's route does include Scottsdale Scotchland in the UK, after all.



Drive safely, BOSSY!

5 comments:

#Debi said...

So that old guy who was driving down the wrong way on the interstate was just practicing for England, eh?

And speaking of thongs, I once knew a girl who wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the marquee, who was enrolling in a Christian college. She was reading the dress code for classes and noticed that thongs weren't allowed. She thought they meant the underwear, and wondered who would be checking to make sure that rule was followed...

Happy Easter!

rilly super said...

mr farty, so you mean those 'stay on the left' signs found around the highlands are traffic instructions and not a desperate rearguard propoganda campaign by the labour party up there?

Mr Farty said...

Debi - I'd be willing to volunteer for the underwear checking!

Rilly - We don't need any encouragement to vote against the Tories. It's just a matter of who we hate the least, like in international football.

Marie said...

"Thong" usually refers to a type of underwear actually, those shoes are called "flip-flops."

I loooove edamame, and so do my kids. Not at all common though, most people think you must be a hippie freak to eat such things. I thought the word was Japanese though? ;)

Mr Farty said...

Marie - I knew that. And so did Bossy, apparently.

As for pinching words from the Japanese, how about karaoke? Oh, I can feel another post cooking!