Farty's Fortunes

Friday, 25 May 2007

Adventures In The Canada Part 1

Nae foties, ah cannae make them jump frae the camra tae the pooter. Mebbe later.

It was the longest four-hour flight of my life. 10:30 take-off from Glasgow, down to Manchester to pick up the rest of the passengers, then back up over fecking Glasgow, over Iceland (formerly known as Bejams), Greenland (no green that I could see), the Hudson Bay and the Rockies to land in Vancouver at 14:30 the same afternoon. Christ, I was knackered!

We took with us a kilt as a gift for our host. He promptly put it on back-to-front. Oh, how we laughed! Then he played a selection of shite Scotch tunes, e.g. I Love A Lassie, Scotchland The Brave, Campbeltown Loch, over and over and over. Oh, how we cried!

Canadians don't appear to have road rage, they go the opposite way. If you so much as hint that you might be considering the possibility of crossing the road (should a break in the traffic chance to appear), every vehicle immediately comes to a dead stop while they all patiently wait for you to make your way to the opposite kerb. Fan.Bloody.Tastic. You will never confuse Canadia with the US of Asshole for this reason alone.

Christ it's past midnight (08:00 BST). More later. Having fun.

7 comments:

Liz said...

Sounds fab and I can't wait for you to post more.

I went to Canada with my Mum last year and we loved it, loved it, loved it (less than 24 hours after arriving, Mumsy announced she wanted to live there). The only downside was the 9 hour flight.

Hope you get over your jet-lag soon and tell us more - like what part of The Canada did you go to?

Liz said...

...like what part of The Canada did you go to?

Apart from Vancouver, obviously. Doh!

john.g. said...

Have a blast(sic) Farty!

Mr Farty said...

Liz - Yes, the 12-hour flight to the far side of Canada is a bit of a bummer.

John - I'll do my best!

Sewmouse said...

They used to have to do that stopping thing in Los Angeles. Dunno if they still do.

We are not TOTALLY uncivilized. Just mostly.

Mr Farty said...

Sewmouse - Oh, you're new here. Call me.

lettuce said...

i think i might like sewmouse.



pissed over here.
ashamed to admit it.