Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 23 April 2007

Merkan-English Dictionary #3

Time now for another thrilling installment of the excitingly-titled Merkan-English Dictionary, where I explain to our cousins across the Pond what words really mean - and sometimes how they ought to be spelt and pronounced. Like "al-um-IN-ium".

I'm afraid that if you've come here looking for a cute underage chick with a hairy pussy, you'll be sadly disappointed. Unless you're heavily into animals.

Bird and Cat

Because, as previously explained, a pussy is in fact a Cat.

Never mind, maybe you'll have better luck with an ass in the air?

An Ass In The Air Yesterday

Sorry, but in Englandland - and Scotchland for that matter - an ass is a four-legged beast of burden. As against the Merkan ass, which is a different kettle of fish altogether.

Another Ass: Not In The Air

Here in the UK, we call this an arse.
An Arse-Licking Toady: Today

No, wait. That's an arse-licker. Sorry.

And if a British gentleman declares that he wishes to take his ladyfriend up the arsenal, well I'm afraid that he may well be referring to The Beautiful Game.

Arsenal Football Ground Apparently
And not anal sex after all.

Hope that's cleared up a few misconceptions.


Timbo said...

Useful, very useful.

BOSSY said...

A pussy, an ass - Got it. So when's the next lesson - full of 'shite' no less?

SpanishGoth said...

An ass full of shite? that'll be toilet time then.....

Brom said...

Talking of shite, how come their so called "Bathrooms" don't have baths in them. Very strange.

john.g. said...

I shall put that info into the memory bank for further use. Thanks Farty.

Cat said...

"Up the arsenal"? There's a new one...

SpanishGoth said...

Apparently, the Queen is an Arsenal fan. Cool, I can just see her maj shouting "Come on Philip, Up the Arse"

*runs off before he gets beheaded*

Mr Farty said...

Timbo, John - I aim to entertain and educate. Like the BBC, but without the license fee.

BOSSY, Goth, Brom - Ah, material for the next chapter. Thanks.

Cat - Really? Well, that's your new thing learned for today then.

Goth again - hahahaha!