Technoranti

Updated: Welcome, BOSSY's readers!

It's this blog's second birthday, yay!!!

My loyal readers reader has suggested that in accordance with the rules for two-year-olds, I should throw a tantrum, so here goes...

I took a look at this Technorati thing after hearing that Jenny the Bloggess is in the top 2,500 and it says this blog is right up there in the top five.Million. Sigh.

But apparently by "claiming my blog" I can get access to lots of cool¹ Technorati gadgets that'll help me improve my rating. No problem...

<clicky> Register with Technorati.

<clicky> Confirm you're the owner.

<clicky> Claim that blog!

Oh.

It seems that my blog has been "flagged", WTF that means...

<clicky> blah blah Sploggers? blah blah...DOs and DON'Ts blah blah

• Do not republish content from other sites without adding your original commentary or reaction.

Hells, I live to add my own commentary or reaction!


• Do not tag exessively [sic] ...over-use of tags in your posts...blah blah blah

btw, have you noticed my new tag cloud? Over on the right and down a bit...yep...stop. There. I had to tweak it a bit to show just the tags that occur seven times or more in my blog, otherwise the tag cloud would be bigger than the page. That's not excessive...is it?


• Do not publish posts with nonsense text.

*cough*


• Do not be overly repetitive.

Which is why I've given up my Friday Chart. That and boredom.


• Do not use links that take the reader to completely different content than what is expected.

Would I do that? Oh, you mean the Stab-O-Mizer video tutorial? Sorry 'bout that.


• Do not promote ... objectionable content.

What, and lose most of my blogroll and half one of my readers? Fook off.

But just to add insult to injury, when I went to claim my other blog² it turns out that that one has a higher rating than this one.

Just a few million higher, admittedly, but still. That stings. Especially since I haven't posted anything there in months.

I'd post something over there right now, but now I'd be worried that I might pull down its blog ranking, sigh.

No, wait. Is 4,978,471 better bigger than 1? Hey, I'm a GREAT blogger! Yay me! Maybe I will do that nude photoshoot after all!


Brrr!

¹ But are they as cool as my patented Stab-O-Mizer??? Hells no!

² You do know I have another blog, right? Well, I say mine. Actually, it has lots of authors. Most of them can even do joined-up writing. I just forget it's there administer it. Wanna join in?

Resolutions

Bleargh, what day is it? Friday already? Result!

Well that was an excellent start to the year, so let's see how I can keep up the momentum. I know! I'll think up some New Year's Resolutions. Nobody's ever done that before! *cough*

BOSSY asked for this in Ten Words recently, I forget what day it was, and I guess I may have been a little bit flippant when I said: "Update blogroll. Scan photos into Flicka. Find cure for cancer."

Yeah, like I'm ever going to scan those photos. Did I mention the driver disk for the scanner finally turned up amongst a pile of music CDs? About a few weeks months ago. So yay. That could still happen.

And I updated my blogroll just yesterday. Everybody say hello to Lesley at Um...What?? Three times now I've seen her comments in places and clicked through and thought, "Wow! This is an amazing blog!" So yeah, this time I remembered to blogroll her. Ooh, snap! One of these days I promise to clear out the crap, you know, the links that no longer work because some people have got a life abandoned blogging in favour of sitting in front of the telly.

Talking of telly (tv if you're a Merkan), having been away for both Eckmas and Hogmanay, I now have a mountain of stuff recorded off the boob tube. Some of it's topical, so I'll probly try to watch it over this weekend, but FFS I still haven't seen the Ecksmas Dr Who, so no spoilers please. Although, come to think of it, after forty-odd years I think I can detect a pattern emerging. Let's hazard a guess:

• Having the entire Universe and all of Time to roam in, The Doctor arrives in an exciting new destination, such as Cardiff or London (Cardiff dressed up to save on production costs) in the near future or recent past.


• The Doctor meets a new alien race such as the Daneleks, Sontarans (yawn) or Cybermen. Yeah, I know that much.


• The Doctor decides that the aliens are getting a bit uppity with his favourite race, the humans.


• After a brief struggle, The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver or similar gadget to utterly destroy the aliens. Again.


• The Doctor declares: "I've learned something today. No, wait, that's South Park."

So, getting a bit predictable. It's not even as if The Doctor can be killed, 'cos he just resurrects into a new body, so you know he'll always triumph. You could argue that if The Doctor was totally killed, it would kind of shorten the series, but look at Taggart. Mark McManus died fifteen years ago in mid-episode and they just kept on filming. Still going now, as far as I know. I don't really know, I've never watched it, but still, hey. If they can lose the central character, so could Dr Who. Yeah.

Where was I? Resolutions. Catch up on some telly. Right.

And save some money towards Little Miss Farty's wedding next year. Thank goodness I bought all those shares in Lehman's, The Officer's Club and Woolworths. They must be worth a fortune by now, right? Right?

Oh yeah. I got a digital photo frame for Ecksmas. I haven't opened the box yet, but if I should inexplicably drop off the interwebs in the next few days, well, it's been good. I really love you guys.

Toot toot!

Computer Terms Illustrated #4

And still they come...if I'd known there was so much scope, I'd have alphabetised them. Because I'm anal well-organised.

Browsers


Packet Sniffer


Silicon Architecture


File


Copy Protection


Post


Column


Row


Spam


Stack


Anonymous Troll


Cyberstalker


Talking of organised, I really will update my blogroll really soon. As soon as I see BOSSY's new one (hint).

Observation

Thanks to John G for the inspiration.

Georgia USA


Georgia ROTW


I wonder how many rednecks Merkans think their own Georgia has just been invaded by the commies?

Merkan-English Dictionary - BOSSY Special

To commemorate that madwoman's BOSSY's Excellent Road Trip, herewith and heretofore please allow Mr Farty to present a little something to help travellers in their time of need.

Saturn

Now the astronomers amongst you might be forgiven for believing that Saturn is a planet, but that's just a matter of opinion.
The Merkan view has it that the Saturn looks more like this:

Well, "planet" does mean "wanderer", and BOSSY's itinerararary certainly involves a lot of wandering.

Diaper

If I was planning to spend 25 hours a day driving, I'd be wearing one of these too. After all, you never know how far it's going to be to the next rest stop.

In case you were wondering, 16-28 lbs doesn't mean capacity.

Edamame

Edamame are green soy beans harvested at 80 percent maturity, high in protein and fibre and low in calories. Apparently you don't eat the husks, just the beans. Who knew?
Not to be confused with Edam, which is high in yummy and low in lead. I know which I'd prefer to snack on to keep me going.

John Cusack

John Cusack is fiercely protective of his private life, but that won't stop Mrs Cusack from tracking him down eventually. Map? Check. Chloroform? Check. Escape route? Check. List of bloggy friends with basements ready and alibis prepared? Check.

Jail

Or gaol in Early Modern English, this is a place best avoided. See above.

Thongs

Slightly less comfortable than flats when driving, but at least you don't have to worry about toe cleavage.

Driving on the left

All sensible countries, including Great Britain, Guyana, South Africa, India, Japan, Australia and New Zealand to name but a few (there are 74 in total), drive on the left. The other handful choose to drive on the right, i.e. wrong side of the road.
According to the British Ministry of Transport, “In the interests of safety, you are advised to practise [driving on the left] in your country of origin for a week or two before driving in the UK.”

I can't wait. BOSSY's route does include Scottsdale Scotchland in the UK, after all.

Drive safely, BOSSY!