Whale Meat Again*

So. It looks like there was a wee contretemps in the Southern Ocean today. See how you do in my impromptu quiz.

1. The Japanese warship hit the Adi Gil because:
a) The powerboat was using advanced stealth technology, making it invisible.
b) The Japanese crew were busy looking for whales.
c) The powerboat accelerated directly into the path of the warship.

2. At the time of the collision, the Adi Gil was:
a) Completely stationery, honest.
b) Sailing directly away from the whaling fleet.
c) Steering towards the bow of the Japanese ship. As you do.

3. The conservation group's boat was:
a) Utterly destroyed, killing all aboard her.
b) Sunk without trace, drowning all the crew.
c) Holed, but otherwise still floating.

4. The Japanese are carrying out "scientific" whaling. They are trying to find:
a) Whether the whale population is at a sustainable size for commercial whaling to resume.
b) Any way around IWC rules on catching whales.
c) The tastiest recipe for whalemeat, yum!

* I had a better title, but forgot it. Sorry.

Vapourware

So the Merkan military-industrial complex are refurbishing their Trident nucular weapons for our UK nucular submarines (once the damage has been repaired) but they have hit a tiny snag.



They've got plenty of plutonium.



They've managed to source a DeLorean DMC-12 that can still just about reach 88mph.



But they've totally lost the plans for one vital component.



It's a mysterious but very hazardous material codenamed Fogbank.



Better known as a Flux Capacitor.



Without it, their nucular missiles are nothing more than fancy doorstops.



Or worse.



All the scienticians involved in the original design have either died, retired or "moved on".



Where's Marty McFly when you need him?

Technoranti

Updated: Welcome, BOSSY's readers!

It's this blog's second birthday, yay!!!

My loyal readers reader has suggested that in accordance with the rules for two-year-olds, I should throw a tantrum, so here goes...

I took a look at this Technorati thing after hearing that Jenny the Bloggess is in the top 2,500 and it says this blog is right up there in the top five.Million. Sigh.

But apparently by "claiming my blog" I can get access to lots of cool¹ Technorati gadgets that'll help me improve my rating. No problem...

<clicky> Register with Technorati.

<clicky> Confirm you're the owner.

<clicky> Claim that blog!

Oh.

It seems that my blog has been "flagged", WTF that means...

<clicky> blah blah Sploggers? blah blah...DOs and DON'Ts blah blah

• Do not republish content from other sites without adding your original commentary or reaction.

Hells, I live to add my own commentary or reaction!


• Do not tag exessively [sic] ...over-use of tags in your posts...blah blah blah

btw, have you noticed my new tag cloud? Over on the right and down a bit...yep...stop. There. I had to tweak it a bit to show just the tags that occur seven times or more in my blog, otherwise the tag cloud would be bigger than the page. That's not excessive...is it?


• Do not publish posts with nonsense text.

*cough*


• Do not be overly repetitive.

Which is why I've given up my Friday Chart. That and boredom.


• Do not use links that take the reader to completely different content than what is expected.

Would I do that? Oh, you mean the Stab-O-Mizer video tutorial? Sorry 'bout that.


• Do not promote ... objectionable content.

What, and lose most of my blogroll and half one of my readers? Fook off.

But just to add insult to injury, when I went to claim my other blog² it turns out that that one has a higher rating than this one.

Just a few million higher, admittedly, but still. That stings. Especially since I haven't posted anything there in months.

I'd post something over there right now, but now I'd be worried that I might pull down its blog ranking, sigh.

No, wait. Is 4,978,471 better bigger than 1? Hey, I'm a GREAT blogger! Yay me! Maybe I will do that nude photoshoot after all!


Brrr!

¹ But are they as cool as my patented Stab-O-Mizer??? Hells no!

² You do know I have another blog, right? Well, I say mine. Actually, it has lots of authors. Most of them can even do joined-up writing. I just forget it's there administer it. Wanna join in?

Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not Out To Get You

So, what happened was this. Little Miss Farty sent me an email from work last night. Because playing on the internets is so much more rewarding than working she loves me so much. Scroll down to see the picture. I showed it to Mrs F and she said I should send a reply, so I replied "Haha, very funny. Get back to work." Then I hit "send", as you do.

A fraction of a second after releasing the mouse button, I realised that although her email had been addressed to my real name, Outlook had helpfully changed my sender name to "Mr Farty". Thanks, Microsoft. Thanks a fucking bunch.

So the phone rings. "Dad, did you just send me an email as "Mr Farty"?

"Er, yes?"

"Oh. Ok, 'cos I thought my computer had been infected by a virus or something."

"No, no, just my little joke, ha-ha."

"Ok, night-night then, Dad."

"Night-night, sweetheart. Don't work too hard."

And now I'm wondering whether to delete my blog, 'cos how long will it be before she decides, out of curiosity, to google "Mr Farty"?

Update: If my daughter is reading this, remember that there's more than one Mr Farty on t'internets. This one isn't me, it's a complete stranger. Plus, quit slacking and get back to work!

That email...

Always check your child's homework

Keep reading...





That mommy works at Home Depot and this was supposed to be her selling a shovel.

IT Security

Hello IT Support have you tried turning it off and on again?

Hi, it's me.

Hello me.

Can you tell me your password?

Let me think about thatno.

But I can't get onto the internets from my own account!

The account your bf used to infect my PC with a virus last month?

Er, yes. Sorry about that.

So you want me to give you my password to my account so you can infect my PC with another virus?

Yes ple- I mean, I really need to get onto the internets!

No you don't. Bye.

Smiple really.

Look Before You Leap

I couldn't help laughing when I saw this story in today's news. If you can't be arsed clicking on the link, or it doesn't work, I'll summarise.

Someone was seen trying to break into cars in a casino parking lot in Florida. When police approached a completely innocent bystander with 25 previous convictions for car theft who matched the perpetrator's description, he ran off and jumped into a lake. Such as you find in Florida's alligator-infested Everglades.

Sorry, but anyone who ignores a sign saying: "Danger! Live Alligators!" deserves what they get.

This is even better than the one about another criminal who jumped over a low wall to escape the police. It was only three feet high on his side. And twenty on the other. With a railway line at the bottom.

File under "self-inflicted".

Do you have a favourite Darwin Award winner?