We all know that Fleming invented Penicillin in between writing his James Bond novels and building the first flying car, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but what about the not-so-famous inventors and their creations?
In the beginning there was nothing except maybe some Hawking Radiation. Then Davy said, "Let there be Lamp. I love lamp." And there was lamp.
But there was nowhere for the lamplight to go, so Hilbert created Space, but it was still very hard to see what was going on with everything happening at once, so Hammer invented Time to break it up a bit.
Then Piltdown created Man out of bits of monkey and that. Newton designed a Cradle for him to sleep in. Man got hungry, so St Elmo invented Fire and Forman built the Grill so he could cook some of Darwin's Finches.
Man was lonely on his own, so Pavlov invented Dogs and Schrödinger invented Cats (or did he?) to keep him company. Still, Man was bored so Tarmac *cough* invented the Road for him to travel on and Shanks invented the Pony for him to ride.
After a while, Man came across Woman. She had been trapped in Faraday's Cage by Maxwell's Demons. "Help me!" cried Woman. Man refused, until she performed a Möbius Strip for him. Glimpsing her Pascal's Triangle, Man decided to rescue her, so Damocles invented a Sword for Man to cut the cage open and free Woman.
Meanwhile Ferris was busy inventing the Wheel, so Man attached some wheels to Constable's Haywain with Archimedes' Screws using a Phillips Screwdriver, which had been sitting around useless for the past few paragraphs.
The Öort Clouds were gathering as, crossing Wheatstone's Bridge, they rounded Sierpinski's Curve. Offering Woman a swig from his Klein Bottle, Man asked Woman her name. "Pandora," she replied. "And will you please stop looking down my Cassini Division, my eyes are up here."
"Her Box could do with a trim from Occam's Razor," he thought to himself as he tightened his Van Allen Belt and offered her a cookie from his Leyden Jar.
But she noticed his Nelson's Column and fended him off with Cleopatra's Needle, right in the Elgin Marbles.
Then Stephenson invented a Rocket which they flew to Barnard's Star before Higgs could create a Boson to destroy the Earth. The end.
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