Farty's Fortunes

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

And I'd Have Gotten Away With It Too...

...if it wasn't for those pesky non-existent kids.

How can anyone, even in Glasgow, claim benefits for fourteen children she doesn't have for four years and nobody even bother to check? Grr.

She'd probably be claiming still, except that she "got greedy" and started claiming for phantom disabilities that her phantom kids didn't have.

"Er, hello, is that the Social? Aye, it's Mrs Semple. Again. It's aboot oor wee, er, haud on...Tariq. The poor wee thing's got, let's see, Gulf War Syndrome. How much can we get for that? Pardon? Aye, he's three. Well, Ah suppose he must of caught it from his dad. Along with the mesothelioma, cirrhosis and Madonna's Disease. Making it up, what makes you think I'm making it up? The Internet wouldn't lie to me...would it?"

9 comments:

rivergirlie said...

the comment thread on that article is as nutty as the story itself! (i would like to give that woman a good hard slap, though)

SpanishGoth said...

I'm sure she's a lovely - changed my mind, she's not lovely - but the Gulf Syndrome would explain why so many kids fell out of it

SpanishGoth said...

Blummin Erection set missiles

Giggle! said...

I think my brain just farted! xx

Mr Farty said...

Girlie - Join the queue...

S - Took me all day to figure out what your first comment meant. v.g.

S again - What?

GooGLe - Splort!

BOSSY said...

Brilliant idea. Do you think Bossy could claim hardship for the twelve Great Danes she doesn't have?

john.g. said...

I Thought everyone in Scotchland had fourteen kids!

Jacki said...

Good lord, and I thought it was only American's who defrauded the disability system!

How could anyone not check to begin with??

Mr Farty said...

BOSSY - Stella's had invisible puppies?

John - On a semi-related note...
When my sister heard there were 14 sheep per person in New Zealand, she emigrated there.
First thing she said on arrival: "So where are my 14 sheep?"
True story. (Well, the last part.)

Jacki - Maybe when they came to check, she told them the kids were in the Shed of Invisibility.