Farty's Fortunes

Monday, 22 September 2008

Merkan-English Dictionary #16. Ish.

M'kay, I've been stealing borrowing words from other blogs for this one, but obviously I had to, because boy, have youse dudes got some crazy ideas about what even the smiplest words mean. Or how to spell them. *cough*


Merkan: i-Phone.

English Scotch: Och-aye phone1.

A bit of background: When I was young, younger than before, we upgraded one of our 370/158s by a whole megabyte. The computer itself was a behemoth to start with, but the extra storage was the size of a large fridge-freezer, took a skilled engineer a whole day to connect up, needed an upgrade to the power supply, cost a fortune to buy and to run, and frequently broke down. But it meant we could play Adventure on night shift.

Little Miss Farty dropped in yesterday to watch the Big Bang and showed us her new och-aye phone. It comes with GPS, touch-sensitive screen, iPod, the current version of the interweb, phone, camera, eight Gigabytes of memory, oh and it's hand-held of course.
"Aye, verry good, but how much did it set ye back?"
"Och, dinnae be silly Pa, it wiz a free upgrade wi' mah contract."

Still needs a power cable ten miles long, I bet. *harrumph*


Merkan: I've been trying to think of a word for two weeks.

English: Fortnight.

Seriously. Why don't you use this word?

English: Autumn.
Ah, a beautiful time of year, when the warm summer sun begins to wane, the leaves turn from green to gold, russet, burnt orange, and deep crimson, then finally to caramel, before they gently swirl to the forest floor, building up a deep carpet for the young and the young-at-heart to kick their way through2. Camp fires in the evenings with the enticing smell of woodsmoke curling up into the deep blue sky. Marshmallows toasting over the embers on sharpened sticks...ok, I'm drooling now.

Merkan: Fall.

Food and Drink

English: Squash.
A delicious drink made from, would you believe, squashed fruit? Basically. But so much more goes into it. A bit like that wardrobe.

Merkan: Coke.
Fact - between them, the Coca-Cola Company and Pepsi, Inc., spend seventeen gazillion dollars a year advertising their respective "products". But if you walk into a corner shop (drugstore? I'll have to do that sometime too) and ask for a Coke, and the guy at the checkout says they've only got Pepsi, the typical response is: "Yeah, whatever."

English: Tea.
A hot beverage made with dried leaves in boiling water. Usually available in about 150 varieties, so that you can pick the one most suitable for the time of day/mood/social occasion/etc. Served with milk and/or sugar. And sometimes lemon. Quick and easy, too, since it takes about ten seconds to boil the water with a 240-volt mains supply.

Merkan: Iced Tea.
Understandable. It takes about a week to boil a kettle in Merka. 120 volts? WTF??? The only thing iced tea is good for is being poured into Boston harbour.

Merkan: Muffins. Mmmm, tasty muffins!

English: Toasted Crumpet. Mmmm, tasty crumpet!
Toasted Crumpet

1 So sue me.
2 Note spelling.


Deb on the Rocks said...

I use "autumn" and I'm all for the tasty crumpets!

But "Coke" is the correct term. Get with it!

VE said...

My home is a no shoes and no panties home too! I should extend these gals an invite...

Laurie said...

Why do Mercans say "it's 10 minutes of 8" when they really mean "it's 10 minutes to 8?" I have to ask if they mean 10 minutes before the hour or ten minutes after the hour because neither way makes sense to me. My fault for living in this country since 1967 and refusing to learn it. (/rant)

Nope, there isn't a single word for fortnight, but two weeks has the same number of syllables, so it's just as easy to say. What do you think about the word sennight, though?

Merkans often use the word teapot when they mean kettle, and electric ones aren't nearly as common here.

Sewmouse said...


Knickers in Merka usually means those odd knee-length-pants that men used to wear to golf.

Mr Farty said...

Deb - Yay for autumn! Yay for crumpet!

I do like Coke, but it's too sweet. And Diet Coke is ackkk!

VE - Were Girls Aloud not wearing shoes? I hadn't noticed, my mind was on higher things.

*goes back to check. Ahhhhhh!*

Laurie - I don't think that's just Merkans.

Sennight hath an certain ring to it; it pleaseth the senses, fol-de-rol and a hey nonny-no. Yes, I had to look it up. I'll stick to week.

I have heard about the Great Leccy Kettle Shortage. Follow the link in SQUASH in the main post.

Sew - Hey, language! Keep it clean, will ya! That's clean knickers!

*checks out Girls Aloud again*

john.g. said...

Woo,hoo, that last pic!

Brom said...

So da word is coke. Simple.

Oh, with all those fancy shoes in that pic of GA there is a joke there somwhere about Muffin the mule.. maybe

Mr Farty said...

John - I do my best to please.

Brom - Are they wearing shoes after all?

*takes another long, hard look*

Oh. Right.

I read a book once called Dancing With Mules. Quite a good laugh.