Farty's Fortunes

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Scotch News

So what's in the news today, I hear you ask. (I'm sure there should be a question mark in there somewhere, but can't for the life of me figure out where to put it. Colour me senile.)

The one millionth word to enter the English language is, by an amazing coincidence, Web 2.0 - er, that's not really a word, is it? It's a word plus a number. And even the number is unnecessarily specified to a higher degree of precision than is really warranted. Why not Web 2.00000? I would have picked lolcat. How about you?
Lolcat

There's a Global Pandemic of Swine Flu stories in the meeja. Yes, you know and I know that a pandemic is by definition global, just like Avian Bird Flu affects avian birds, but they still go ahead and use redundant tautologies. Stupid journalists. Oh! There I go doing it myself! Anyway, lock all the doors and windows, tape them up and don't come out until 2013 just in case. Or until you run out of air or food, whatever.

Miss California USA's been fired. There used to be a Miss California Scotland, but we lost her in the fog.
California_Scotland

With Armed Forces Day coming up on June 27, celebrations are being planned to give people the chance to thank the RAF, Army, Navy and that for all the hard work they do in fighting off Johnny Foreigner. Scotchland's own Lorraine Kelly was up at Embra's Redford Barracks to reveal her knickers the Scotch events lined up for the big day.
Lorraine_Kelly

Well, if you're only visiting this blog for upskirt pictures of Lorraine Kelly, why should I disappoint? Did you notice the matching accessories?

9 comments:

Lesley said...

I, for one (1.0), am VERY disappointed that was the millionth word because first of all? NOT A WORD. A title-y, phrase-y, math-y thing. (WTF? Are there NO standards anymore?) Second of all? I was really rooting for "gagillion" and can't understand why everyone ignored all my letters and e-mails and text messages and phone calls regarding this. JERKS.

Anna Russell said...

I didn't dare look too closely, so I'm just going to pretend Lorraine Kelly was wearing knickers and hope to god it's true.

john.g. said...

There's no knickers there!

Welsh Girl said...

John.g apparently has not had much chance to see up ladies skirts before. From my brief (ha ha) glance, I can assure you there are knickers. (They look like very dull plain white cotton ones. Apparently Lorraine has not heard of Victoria's Secrets or Fig Leaf.com).

Web 2.0???? I don't even know what that is, let alone why it is in the dictionary. Is it a spider's second home?

Mr Farty said...

Lesley - Gagillion is a great word and what's more, it's all letters, no numbers and no spaces. That makes it a gagillion times better than Web 2.0. Or spramped.

Anna - I'm sure Ms Kelly was all prim and proper.

John - Get your eyes tested.

Taffeta - Good Lord, living out in the wilds of Wales really sharpens your eyesight! Seriously, can you read the label on her knickers from that shot?

lettuce said...

hope you don't mind if I shamelessly promote my latest blog post which is shamelessly promoting a new charity project - please read it and if you feel able help advertise (or contribute in any other way) that would be FAB


"monetize" is a new word i really object to

Mr Farty said...

Lettuce - Long time no etc. This sounds like a wonderful idea.

Cat said...

Funny, I still get a lot of people coming to my blog looking for up-skirt shots of LK. I should steal that pic so they won't be disappointed...

Mr Farty said...

Cat - Any upskirt shots would do, doesn't have to be LK...