Computer Terms Illustrated

Haven't done this for a while. Honest, these are all genuine computer terms.

API

Enterprise Architecture

Micro

Polling

Proxy(sp?) Server

Spoofing

Escape Characters

Pipe

Tar

There's also Shell, of course. Think I'll save that for later.

Computer Terms Illustrated #11

Yes, really, these are all proper computer words. And yes, there are a hell heck of a lot of them. Can you think of any more?

Inbox

Pretty Good Privacy

Second Life

Wii

Hacker

Cracker

Quacker

Assembler

Card Reader

Wizard Creator

Subchannel

Debugging

Xmas Competition

So. People have been wondering where I get my ideas for Computer Terms Illustrated. The simple answer is that they just pop into my head fully-formed, and sometimes that answer is true. But more often it's like this: I'll read or hear a word, write it down and then turn it over in my head for a few seconds days until an apt illustration suggests itself.

Like "blade" - you must have seen IBM's TV ads for this piece of electronic wizardry. I still have no.fooking.idea what they mean by that word, but I know exactly what it means to me:

Kate "Babushka" Bush


Lucy "Xena" Lawless


That bloke off Lord of the Rings


However.

There are a few terms whose "true"¹ meaning still eludes me. And that's where you come in, dear reader. All you have to do to win a FANTASTIC PRIZE² is to submit a half-decent picture to illustrate any or all of the following pooter-based expressions:-

• Dark Fibre


• Data Mining


• Vapourware


• Spoofing


• Password


• Blue Screen of Death


• Bit Map³


• Anything I haven't already done, really

Rules
Multiple entries accepted. Pictures can be emailed to MrFarty at blueyonder dot co dot uk or posted on your own blog with a link. Or stolen off the intertubes, in a pinch⁴. In the highly unlikely event that more than three or four entries are received, there will be a fight to the death to decide the winner. Or a poll or something. I haven't thought that far ahead. Closing date November-ish.

Update: Fer feck's sake! Anybody? Christ. Right. If you have an idea but can't draw, take photographs or be arsed to surf the intertubes for a picture, just TELL me your idea. Like the inestimable Señor Goth (thanks S).

¹ For a given value of true.

² Ok, it's a Scottish calendar.

³ Like I say, they just come to me like *click* that! Better hurry up.

Hob-bit Map


⁴ Not that I would ever drop to that level. *cough*

Computer Terms Illustrated #10

Where do these things keep popping up from? Anyone would think I'd spent my entire life immersed in computer technology or something. *cough*

Pooter

Analog

Digital

Symbol Table(sp?)

Cascading Style Sheet

Peer to Peer Network

Malwear

Virus Scan

Minesweeper

Artificial Intelligence

Natural Stupidity(Click on image to see why)

Did I mention there's an Xmas Competition where you can win fabulous prizes, lasting glory and that? Just submit mention any picture idea that you think would might make a good illustration for this series. The winning idea will be published prominently with full accreditation to you in this very blog! Gasp!

So far I've had entries from as far afield as, er, Belgium. All from Spanish Goth. Is there anyone else out there? Hello?

Computer Terms Illustrated

Many people find computers more than a bit scary. Especially with all those jargon words that computer people use, like monitor, 64-bit addressing and multivendor hardware.

To make it easy for beginners, here are some pictures to show you what some of them fancy words really mean.

IT


Keyboard


Mouse


Click


Double Click (please do)


Queue


Boot


On Line


Thread/Spool


Pivot Table


Dump


Core


Curser(sp?)


Illegal Operation


Web 1.0


Windows


Client/Server


YouTube(sp?)


FaceBook


Eunuchs(sp?)


Loll Cat


Cowboy Outfit


You're welcome.

Update (thanks, Pat):

Pooter