Farty's Fortunes

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Just You Wait And See

So yesterday Norman Wisdom passed away, age 95. Apparently his mental health had been failing for some time, and this was suitably reflected in a number of tributes wrongly attributing him as co-writer of There'll Be Bluebirds Over The White Cliffs of Dover. To be fair, that is what his Wikipedia entry said at the time the lazy journalists looked it up, but to be harsh, they shouldn't believe everything they read on the internets.

For those of you not familiar with Twitter, what's it like in the Stone Age? here are some more Norman Wisdom "facts".


rpcompaneros
#NormanWisdomFacts Norman Wisdom invented toothpaste
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Mr Farty
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman played Gort in the original movie The Day The Earth Stood Still. His visor was operated by a trained gerbil.
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TheCockOfJesus
#NormanWisdomFacts He thought Albania was an affliction affecting hair colour and eye sight.
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TheConnArtist
#NormanWisdomFacts He thought Albania was a shithole.
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rpcompaneros
#NormanWisdomFacts Wisdom once climbed Everest, Mount Fuji and Ben Nevis. This was collectively known as the Norman Conquests
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Mr_Neurosceptic
#NormanWisdomFacts Norman's brother Saxon wasn't famous for anything. He did try to invent waterproof cardigans for cats. They failed.
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RANTINGMALE
#normanwisdomfacts he used the alias of big_norm and won the 2008 UK online poker championship, but gave his purse to a squirrel sanctuary
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BertSwattermain
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman was 6'3", but he insisted on hiring basketball teams as his entourage.
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rantyman
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman was runner up in the 1937 series of X-Factor, losing out to a troupe of Morris Dancing gerbils
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Mr_McChin
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman founded Lidl as he was sick of paying full price for Bratwurst.
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BertSwattermain
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman was the stunt co-ordinator for the PG Tips chimp adverts.
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BertSwattermain
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman was the recently fired drummer in Lordi. It broke his heart and he never recovered.
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Rantyman
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman's famous cap was woven from the carefully collected pubic hairs of his wife
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MrFarty
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman Wisdom invented cheese.
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Mr_McChin
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman was the only man to successfully scale Jo Brand.
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Mr_McChin
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman was known to his mates as 'old green bollock'.
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MrFarty
#NormanWisdomfacts Norman Wisdom won the 1982 Nobel Prize for ending the war between ghosts and zombies.
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Mr_Neurosceptic
#normanwisdomfacts "The Sandwich Man" is the only film available on DVD in North Korea.
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Mr_Neurosceptic
#normanwisdomfacts Norman Wisdom had three ribs removed so he could suck his own Y-fronts.
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Mr_Neurosceptic
#normanwisdomfacts Norman Wisdom turned down the role of Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver because he only had a license to drive a lawnmower.
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Mr_Neurosceptic
#normanwisdomfacts Zookeepers used to show chimpanzees Norman Wisdom films to stop them biting their toenails.

You're really not missing much.

3 comments:

Mr H said...

He was a bit rubbish really. I know it was the fifties and colour hadn't been invented, but surely even then, tripping over your own feet and shouting for Mr Grimshaw wasn't remotely funny. Thank goodness we have modern and up to date funnymen like Lee Evans in full multicolour glory to entertain us nowadays.

Mr Farty said...

Mr H - I met that Lee Evans once at Hard Rock Caff in George St. In real life he's in black and white.

Simon P said...

Norman wisdom was great . Lee Evans is poor .