Computer Terms Illustrated
Haven't done this for a while. Honest, these are all genuine computer terms.
There's also Shell, of course. Think I'll save that for later.
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
There's also Shell, of course. Think I'll save that for later.
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Down By The River
So as my Twitter followers will know, I went for a stroll down by the Water of Leith yesterday, watched the pretty birdies and broke the first rule of photography - didn't take my camera. #headslap
To make up for it, I went back today with camera in hand and took a few snaps.
As usual, click to embiggen.
The only thing that spoiled it for me was trying to get a shot without the assorted prams, bicycles and shopping trolleys that have been discarded in the river over the years by gormless vandals.
Toot toot!
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Shit My Dad Said
Some time ago.
Dad worked on the top floor of a four-storey telephone exchange. There were no lifts (elevators), but the exercise he got from climbing the stairs every morning was still preferable to the drenching he'd regularly received while fixing junction boxes in the streets of Edinburgh.
Be that as it may.
One day, a uniformed police officer turned up by his desk, puffing and wheezing.
"Good day, my good man," or words to that effect, said the filth. "Would that be your car parked on the pavement downstairs, only it's causing an obstruction?"
"Would that be the silver Bentley?" asked Dad innocuously. Dad never drove in his life.
"Ah, no sir," replied the pig. "It's a blue Ford Escort. Sorry to have disturbed you."
And off he went.
Five minutes later, with much pounding on the stairs, the rozzer was back, gasping for breath this time. "Sir! Sir! There's no silver Bentley down there!"
"Oh, my God, it's been stolen!" Sharp as a pin, was Dad.
So then he made poor PC Plod go back down again, have another look to make sure, come back up and prepare to take a statement before declaring, "Ah, wait, the wife said she would be taking it today to fetch the shopping."
He would have loved Robin Cooper.
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Roaming In The Gloaming
So I noticed that this week my sex change was commented on in Scottish Roundup, juxtaposed with the most excellent Scotland In The Gloaming. Seriously, I'm not worthy, but that won't stop me nicking their name linking to them for this post.
Be that as it may, I was at a "do" up near Bathgate a couple of weeks ago on one of the few days it didn't rain. A professional photographer had warned me not to bother taking my camera, since there was nothing to see but scenery. Yes, of course I ignored him. Was it worth it? You decide.
Those cows totally knew I was there.
I rather enjoyed climbing over the wall to get this picture with the sun directly behind the lamp.
Well, I say 'loch'. 'Artificial reservoir' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
My Red Dress
I've been up to Hillend a few times to practice skiing, but I'd always planned to just walk up with the camera one day and take some nice photos of my home town. Then life happened and what with one thing and another, that day never came.
Yesterday, however, I found myself on holiday, with no fixed plans, beautiful weather, a new camera and a free morning. So I thought, "Bugger it, I'm off!"
Hopping on the bus, I started up Twitter on my phone and the very first tweet I saw was one from Chookooloonks about how to improve your photography. That led me to her blog, where I was momentarily sidetracked by a stunning photoset of Jenny The Bloggess wearing a red dress in a cemetery. Yeah.
Jenny's own post on the same subject would have prompted me to take this trip if I wasn't already there. Spooky coincidence, innit?
As always, click on any photo to embiggen and feel free to copy for non-commercial purposes.
Bluebells. Aren't they lovely? No, of course I didn't have to stop anyway to catch my breath.
Oh, looky! Someone's got a hang-glider! 
The First Forth Bridge. To Fife.
A boat. And Fife. Again.
Arthur's Seat. And Fife. Sigh.
Top of the ski-tow. Practising skyline photos without ending up underexposed. Win.
North Berwick Law. Cockenzie power station in the foreground. No sign of Fife.
Edinburgh Castle. Pay no attention to the background.
Action shot of a skier going down.
Action shot of a hang-glider going up. Cheeky monkey.
Panorama of Edinburgh. This was stitched together in the camera from 3 separate photos. Isn't technology wonderful?
About this site. Robert Louis Stevenson was here.
That hang-glider again.
Gorse Bush. There's a lot of these around here. Hope that pilot can steer well. #spiky
And if you're still wondering about the title of this post, you haven't visited Jenny's blog. Go on!
Sunday, 25 April 2010
FO Condemns "Despicable Cult"
The Foreign Office has described as "despicable" a cult led by a former member of the Hitler Youth, according to a memo seen by Newsarse.
Nazi Piece of Work
German-born Joe Ratzinger, who leads a cult calling itself the Catholic Church, is reported to have turned down several offers to make his sect appear more tolerant and forgiving by carrying out some specially planned activities during his next visit to the UK.
One proposal suggested that the "Pontiff" could open an abortion clinic, a move which would undoubtedly have reduced the number of unwanted pregnancies in the country and indeed around the world.
Another idea put forward in the same vein would have seen the launch of "Benedict condoms", which were also intended to reduce the spread of "Bad AIDS". These would have been of crucial importance to leading members of his own establishment, known as "priests" and "bishops", whose duties include bumming choirboys and orphans.
A Joke Too Far
A Foreign Office spokesman who wished to remain anonymous said of the declined offer, "We invite someone into our country - a person like the Pope - and then he treats us in this way. I think it's appalling manners more than anything else.
"The whole idea of a church that rejects giving aid to people who suffer from AIDS is, quite simply, a joke that has gone too far".
The Bishop of Nottingham said he did not think Catholics would be upset by the memo as they "are used to getting a bad press".
"Just look at that whole Torquemada business," added Bishop McMahon. "He used to strike fear and terror into the hearts of the unfaithful, but you can't even mention the Spanish Inquisition these days without some wag yelling, 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!'"
Pope Should FO
Many leading mandarins in the Foreign Office have privately expressed the view that instead of wasting £20million on the proposed visit, their own bonuses and pensions should be topped up while the old Nazi fucks off back to Italy.
Saturday, 17 April 2010
Wedding Photos
I couldn't take my camera with me, but still managed a few before we left for the church and received some from guests. The official ones will probly be copyright or that.
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