Somalia sends food parcels to House of Commons to supplement MPs' rations

Somalians have dug deep in their pockets after hearing of the plight of British MPs, who are being treated like shit and have to live on rations, according to Shadow Commons leader Alan Duncan.

"This is absolutely scandalous," said Mogadishu resident Saeed Abdallah. "Here we are, living in the lap of luxury with not a care in the world, except for the occasional suicide bombing or random beheading, while hardworking British lawmakers have to scrape by on as little as £64,766 pa. Plus expenses.

"When the Somali people learned of the MPs' plight through a wind-up radio tuned into the BBC World Service, we immediately agreed to club together and collect every grain of rice we could pry from between the floorboards, along with the leftover bones from a stray dog we caught and ate a couple of weeks ago.

"We hope that this offering, though small, will help sustain the starving MPs through these times of hardship until after the next election, when it is sincerely hoped that their freeloading snouts will be back in the trough before you can say duck house."