Merkan-English Dictionary #14

Hancock: 1. Popular British comedian in the 1950s and 1960s.
2. Popular British actress¹ in the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, etc. Still going strong.
3. Merkan for signature. Example: "I woke up in hospital and the nurse asked me to put my Hancock on a form." Something to do with Independence Day (not the film).

Bark dust: What Merkan dogs do on a very dry, dusty day. Especially if they've been chasing rabbits through piles of woodchips.

Teeter totter: A Merkan see-saw. Maybe when Dr Webster was compiling his dictionary he thought see-saw was too easy?

Boot: 1. What goes on your foot, and part-way up your leg, over your sock.
2. What you do to a pooter when it won't go. Sometimes with three fingers, sometimes with your boot (see 1).
3. In Britain, the bit on a car where you put the luggage if you don't want it to get wet.

Trunk: 1. In Britain - and by extension in India and Africa, which are really British - the front bit of an elephant.
2. In Merka, a car boot. No, wait. Merkans call a clamp a car boot. Now my head hurts.

Monkey wrench: A Merkan adjustable spanner. Nothing to do with monkeys at all, apparently, sigh. And definitely not to be confused with a Trunk Monkey:


¹ Merkans don't have actresses, just actors. This is why, when they need someone to perform the part of a woman, they get a man to dress up. See Tootsie (Dustin Hoffman), Mrs Doubtfire (Robin Williams) or Sleepless in Seattle (Rosie O'Donnell).