International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Feck. I been drinkin' grog all day. Hic! Wazzup? Will someone shut that feckin' parrot UP?

Right. Now. Where was I? Where be I? Shouldn't blog after grog. Remember not to post this, Farts.

Right. First up - a Martian Meteorite has crashed in Peru. Well, they say it's a meteorite. So far, it's released some noxious fumes into the environment and made the locals feel pretty sick. If you ask me, it's either the Martian counterpart of yours truly, or the first wave of the invasion fleet. I'm just saying.

Next. Britney's been dropped by her record label, her lawyer and her manager.
Sorry, Britney who?

Oh, another space one. Hurrah! Britain should set up its own Moonbase, according to space boffins. Now, I saw the following quote in the Sun, but for some reason can't find it anywhere on t'internet. I wonder why? Good thing I wrote it down, innit, me fartys? Arrr.
"The Moon could be the greatest archaeological site in the solar system," said Professor Monica Grady.
Um. Archaeology is the study of human cultures, shurely, matey? Finding anything of archaeological significance on the Moon, apart from six (6) Apollo landers and various pieces of assorted tat, including a WWII bomber, certainly would be a great achievement. I won't be holdin' me breath, though.

Czech biker Matej Kus had an accident where his head got run over and woke up speaking perfect English. Well, of course he would, everyone knows English is wired into the human brain. He just gorgot how to speak Czech. Gorgot?

Boffins working on the shed Cloak of Invisibility have almost managed it. All that can be seen is a thin line of light where the object ought to be.

Cool! I can't see him at all.

Did I be mentioning it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day? Arrrr, ye scurvy sea-dogs! I'll lash ye to the mizzen-mast and keel-haul yer miserable bones!

Yarr!