Tuesday, 26 June 2007

New Balls, Please!

Did you see the evening news today? Thousands of homes flooded in Sheffield. How awful - living in Sheffield! I could write for Graham Norton, it's a piece of piss.

Yes, it's that time of year again, when the heavens open up and Wimbledon gets rained off. Which reminds me of this apocryphal tale from last year...oh, how I wish it were true...

* wavy lines etc. *

The Hoff arrives at Centre Court without a ticket and tries to blag his way in with the tried-and-tested "Do You Know Who I Am?" ploy.

PA system bursts into life. "Can any of the guests please identify a gentleman at the gate? He appears to have forgotten his name. Tall, mid-fifties, black shirt, shades, full of himself, bit of a tosser."

I love tennis, me. I could sit and watch it all day.

A Lady Farting

I think she's followed through.
at

10 comments:

  1. SpanishGoth26 June 2007 at 22:43

    Think you'll find that's an orgasm Mr Farty....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Manuel27 June 2007 at 01:50

    Tennis eh? What a racket....

    [why do i do this? why do i come on here with these very bad puns? I'm sorry]

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Good Woman27 June 2007 at 08:34

    Brilliant! Nothing like a bit of Hoff-bashing in the morning!

    ReplyDelete
  4. lady macleod27 June 2007 at 14:06

    Terrible about Sheffield.

    I am missing Wimbledon this year; I think I really quite missing bitching about the rain. sigh

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sewmouse27 June 2007 at 15:37

    David Hasslehoff still lives?

    I thought he got smothered to death by Pammie's ... Mammies.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown27 June 2007 at 16:08

    I think that's a fart (no brown stuff)!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Drama Queen27 June 2007 at 16:12

    damn goth beat me too it. . .as usual ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mr Farty27 June 2007 at 22:07

    Goth - Ladies are supposed to come first.

    Manuel - Ouch!

    My Good Woman - Is that a figure of speech?

    Lady M - It's what we British do best, innit? Bitching about the rain, not Wimbledon.

    Sew - What planet have you been on? He's still live and boozing.

    Pammie's Mammies. I like it.

    John - I hope you're right.

    DQ - Shame for you. See my response to Goth.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mr. X28 June 2007 at 19:07

    That's got to be a candidate for the "Done a Poo" blog...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mr Farty28 June 2007 at 19:57

    Mr X - Where's that been all my life? ThankyouThankyouThankyou!

    ReplyDelete