Merkan-English Dictionary #4

• Pavement/Sidewalk
  A road is a road is a road. Despite what the Romans thought, not all of them lead to Rome.
  The bit down each side, that pedestrians walk on, is the pavement. From side+walk.
• Trousers/Pants
  A man wears trousers; a dog pants.
  What Englishmen wear under their trousers are called pants or underpants.
  Ask a Scotchman if anything's worn under the kilt and he'll tell you no, it's all in perfect working order.
• Friendly Fire
  This oxymoron, with the emphasis on moron, appears to be uniquely Merkan. There is no equivalent in the civilised¹ world.
• Faggots
  In the UK, we throw faggots on the fire.
  In some US states, they may well do the same. That doesn't make it right.
• Queen
  This can refer to either the Reigning Monarch or the Popular Beat Combo.
  It does not, as far as I know, mean a homosexualist.
• Gay
  I'll concede this one. See, I'm flexible!
• Laser
  Light
  Amplification by the
  Stimulated (not Zdimulated)
  Emission of
  Radiation.
  I don't care that Google has 215,000 hits for 'lazer beam', you're still wrong.

¹That's civilised with an 'S', not a 'Z'².
²And 'Z' is pronounced 'Zed', not 'Zee'.

Update

Since you've been good, here's an excerpt (from memory) from I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (ISIRTA) sometime in the 1970's:

"I went to a mixed school. Girls, boys, rabbits, horses, lions..."
"Eton?"
"Damned nearly!"

"When I was at school, I was a fag."
"I was a fag-end."
"I was a dog-end."
"I was a dog."
"I was a hot dog."
"Eaten?"
"Damned nearly!"