What's the Story in Balamory?

It appears that the Highland Council, or as they are better known in Scotchland, "thon bunch of numpties", have decided in their infinite wisdom, without bothering to ask the people who live there, to rename the Isle of Skye as Eilean a'Cheo (bless you).

This isn't even its proper Gaelic name, but it was felt that an t-Eilean Sgiathanach sounded too much like a sheep having a bronchial attack.

"Tourists making calls about travelling or staying on Skye will encounter officials instructed to use only the new Gaelic version," according to a report in The Scotchman. Oh, yes, that'll go down like a lead balloon.

"Hello, I'd like to book a trip to Skye."

"You want to go up in the sky?"

"No, I want to go to Skye."

"And once you've been up in the sky, where do you want to land?"

"I want to travel to Skye. S.K.Y.E."

"Hang on, I just check...computer says no."

"What do you mean?"

"There's no such place."

"Excuse me?"

"We've got Brunei, Mumbai, Shanghai and Dubai but no sign of Skye."

"But what about that popular song: 'Ah've jist cam doon frae the Isle of - '"

"Oh, you mean Eilean a'Cheo."

"Bless you."

"Thank you. Well, we could book you a trip, but you'd never get in."

"So why can't I visit Skye?"

"The bridge is closed."

"Closed how?"

"By the sign."

Cannae have all them tourists coming over, capturing the scenery with their cameras, learning aboot oor language and culture, spending their hard currency, tracing their ancestors and that, ye ken.