WTF do we pay these people for?
On Thursday, I learned that a Science Teacher says farts can't be lit. Did you think that picture to the right - no, the other one, underneath the Shaggy Blog Stories - had been Photoshopped? Or that this was simply another Hollywood Myth like U-571?
FYI Mr/Ms Science Teacher, the active component of farts is methane, with a side order of hydrogen sulphide to make them smelly. When you ignite them in air, the reaction goes:
CH4 + 2.O2 => CO2 + 2.H2O
Mind, it's highly exothermic, so don't try this at home, kids!
And now I hear of a nurse who thinks tomatoes aren't acidic. If you're trying to find something to settle your stomach, then fruit such as plums (pH 2.9), strawberries (pH 3.4) and tomatoes (pH 4.0) are best avoided. Bad nursey.
While we're at it, strawberries are, botanically speaking, not berries. And hands up who thought tomatoes were a vegetable?
Next: Evolution vs. Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
Farts most certainly CAN be lit. I speak from experience here. You can make quite a flame shooter out of a good fart. Your photo might have been embellished, but I've seen farts lit many a time.
ReplyDeleteMichele sent me.
I'm the first farter today!
ReplyDeleteThanks for setting us straight on all those counts! Of course farts can be lit! That's the best bit about them!!
Michele sent me.
Margalit, Yaeli - Hello and welcome. Flame shooter, eh? I'll have to try that!
ReplyDeleteDammit I knew there was something else I could have been doing with my spare farts left over from the great pruneathon. But maybe best that I don’t as I’m surrounded by highly inflammable trees and shit.
ReplyDeleteNow that nurse jest scares me.
Apos - Still can't believe you scoffed all that dried fruit. Has your folks' dunny recovered yet?
ReplyDeleteI just had rocket salad, with tomatoes, for my lunch.
ReplyDeleteHow strange the teacher is. I have seen a fart being set on fire with my own eyes, not my own fart I have to add (everyone knows Queens DON'T fart). Anyway, talking about lighting farts in Science class? What is the education system coming to. . .
ReplyDeleteYes...lucky there are two of them aye. Strangely enough, I am adding more prunes to my shopping list this week.
ReplyDeleteCat - Is that the diet or are you having trouble chewing on that tooth?
ReplyDeleteDQ - I think the SCIENCE TEACHER FFS could do with a refresher course. I've got a better story than that about Science class, thanks for jogging my memory.
Apos - I'll alert the media.
DQ - And here it is: click here.
ReplyDeleteI admire a man who knows his farts.
ReplyDeleteTell 'em to bring their fat chequebooks eh.
ReplyDeleteNichola - my pleasure.
ReplyDeleteApos - you always crack me up.