Merkan-English Dictionary #2

Many years ago, when I was even younger than I am now, I heard that Dustin Hoffman

wore elevators. This, I thought, was a trifle odd, since surely elevators are those hulking great monstrosities that have helped to make the Merkan Midwest the breadbasket of the US of A.

Or sterile monoculture, depending on your point of view.

But then I remembered that Merkans refer to our own humble lifts

as elevators, and that Dustin's odd clothing items were also known as lifts, and all became clear. Er, not. Still couldn't quite picture which part of your body you might adorn with a box that goes up and down. Mind you, people do wear the oddest things on the oddest parts of their anatomy.

Finally, a kindly soul explained that they're what short, self-important people wear inside their shoes to make them appear taller than they really are.

The twats.